Penance (Book One): Daryl Dixon x Sage Wilson

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I wake up, staring at the concrete wall. I must be tired without realizing it. The last thing I remember... I look down at the end of the bed, seeing Daryl leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. His arms were draped over his knees, and his head was lobbed lazily to the side.

I slowly shift my legs over to the edge of the bed, trying to make minimal movement to not poke the bear. Daryl was in a fragile state. He found out his brother turned into a sadistic monster- or an even more sadistic monster. I mean, I wouldn't know how to feel if I saw Ava like that. Whatever Daryl went through with Merle, it wasn't light trauma. It was thick, heavy, and nasty.

I lean forward, grabbing the bar of the bed and leaning forward to find my balance. My legs wobble, weak and exhausted from not having proper proteins to keep my body functioning at a healthy rate. The last thing I ate was a can of lentils- and I couldn't even remember when that was.

I look behind to Daryl, tossing the sheet over his lap and creeping my way out of the room. I needed to do something with myself, make me feel useful. I wanted to talk and thank Rick- if I was being totally honest, I wasn't sure I'd save someone's ass. Especially if I barely knew them.

On average, I think I've been with the group for about 2-3 months now. We all did for the most part. Rick was the type of guy to throw someone a bone and if they dropped it, he'd do it one more time but with a grenade. Daryl? He wasn't the type to throw the bone. You had to catch it yourself- hell, dig for it yourself. Nature vs. nurture at its finest.

I walk through the halls, relying less and less on the walls besides me to keep me straight and steady. As I was finding a rhythm, I look around. The area was just like any other prison you'd see on TV. Cells lining the walls, staircases, cracked concrete, jail bars, bunk beds, steel toilets, chipped paint.. the whole deal. Adding the dead corpses, of course.

I look ahead and see the door to the cell block open, revealing a very bright and sunny outside world. I put my hands over my eyes, squinting as I emerge from the musty atmosphere.

The wind hits my face, and the sun was beaming down on my skin immediately making me feel like an actual human again. I look around the court yard and see Rick, T-Dog, and Glenn throwing corpses into a big fire. I look to the right and see the women sweeping off the concrete and pulling weeds. Then I look ahead and see Carl and Shane tying knots.

I limo my way over to Rick, smelling the burning flesh through my nostrils.

"How many you kill?" I shout over to them as I approach closer.

Rick looks to me and smiles, walking over to meet me halfway.

"Hey, I heard you were up- but when I came to check in I saw you and Daryl passed out."

"Ah yeah. I just woke up and he was there, so.." I shrug, looking around.

"Yeah he seemed pretty devastated when we couldn't find you guys. He was more so devastated about you I should say."

"Yeah, the farm went to shit. What even happened? Are we gonna talk about it?" I look over to Carl and Shane.

Rick switched his stance, looking at me discretely. "Look- we are adults. I know Shane and you have resolved your.. thing.. and I'm sorry that happened. Just wish you told me." He looks over then back to me. "And Carl on the other hand, he almost killed a man. Someone he's known his whole life. Just don't know how to feel about it is all," he sighs.

"Yeah. How did the fire start?" I ask.

"Carl and I. We burned it, we knew what we were doing. I told Hershel already, it's been hacked out. The hard part is over, now it's time for the next." Rick looks over again.

"Lori and the baby? Or..."

Rick nods, shaking his head with a laugh. "Yeah. Just don't know who's it is.. she told me."

I nod slowly. "Well, let's get this prison cleared out as fast as we can so we can make this delivery successful."

Rick nods, turning and walking back over to the fire.

"Rick. Thank you." He turns around and smiles. I follow suit, and start to pick up sticks to throw in. There was zero way in hell Hershel would allow me to lift a 100 pound dead weight corpse.

I look into the flames as they crack and emit their odors of the dead. I scrunch my nose as I watch the skin melt off the bones of people who were once alive and breathing. The sad reality? This could be any one of us. Something one day and absolutely nothing the next.

It's crazy how you can take life for granted in such shit situations. But when you're trying to be grateful for it, shit hits the fan.

I wipe my forehead as I turn and look to Carl. He was now kneeling on the soil by himself, digging a hole with his hands.

"I'm gonna go over and help the kid," I tell Rick. I nod to him, and he does so back.

I walk to Carl a few yards away, kneeling down slowly as I feel the stitching pull on my skin and the bruises press against bone.

"Hey, kid," I groan as I sit down next to him.

"Hey, Sage! You actually came," he says hopefully.

"I did, I just needed to get in a good nap." I look at the hole he's working at, starting to dig one myself.

"Want me to show you?" Carl asks.

I lift my hands up, letting him give me a step by step tutorial.

"So, Dad says we have to do it like this..." he starts to measure with his finger, and all I could do was stare at his innocence. His his innocence reminded me of Ava every time I laid eyes on him. They would honestly get along so well, Ava only being a year older than Carl.

But I still needed to find her.

I look behind me and spot Daryl, who sits on some stairs picking at his hands. He must be up from his nap. He can help me. If he won't, then I will help myself.

We will find Ava. We have to.