Penance (Book One): Daryl Dixon x Sage Wilson

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I couldn't sleep. I felt weak. Pathetic. Useless. I had all of this rage and I couldn't even do anything about it. Why am I so pathetic? It was like one moment I'm capable of defending myself and the other I just become paralyzed. Would I ever get over this?

     By the time morning rose, I could count every stain on the ceiling above me. Sleeping was next to impossible. It was like I felt his death grip on my waist, his breathe on my neck. An all too familiar feeling I had with Mickey resurfaced all over again with Shane- I should have listened to my gut instinct when I first met the guy but I thought maybe it was a bias I had formed.

I feared he would come in the room and try it again, but I had a feeling Daryl already gave him enough of a show. Everyone was going to ask what happened to his face and I knew Daryl wasn't going to say anything. Maybe come up with some lame ass excuse that he fell down the stairs or startled me; the last thing I needed was to cause drama.

I knew I had been counting as time passed, meaning it was now probably around the time everyone had woken up from their grape filled hangovers.

I swing my legs over the bed, stand up, and stretch my legs out, trying to regain my grounding. I go over to the mirror in the bathroom, seeing my drained complexion. My hair was long but knotted, my once green eyes were dull and sunk into my face with the purple bags that lay underneath them. I turn my cheek and see a scar. I turn on the faucet, running my hand underneath the warm water and scrubbing my face. Taking my shirt and pressing it into my skin, I look up and try not to break down at the girl I'm staring back at.

I exit from the bathroom and open the door, not expecting what I was about to see.

"Daryl?" I look down as his figure hits the side wall when the door support was removed.

He startles awake, looking at me then immediately standing up. He tucks his bow into his shoulder and looks around.

"You have a bed; I said I was fine," I insist. I cross my arms at his sincerity, but I could handle myself. I came across as pretty defensive, but I was not used to a man trying to protect me; all they ever know how to do is hurt me and it'll always be that way. No man was perfect- not even Daryl Dixon. It has to be some sort of ploy, right?

"No 'thanks'?" He sounded almost offended as he steps back, shaking his head. "Just tryna help."

"I know, Daryl I just didn't need you to-" And within moments, he was storming down the hall.

I put my face in my hands and rub my eyes, feeling the built up crust flake away. I didn't have time for temper and I sure as hell didn't have time to psychoanalyst Daryl. I knew he meant well, I knew he saved my ass last night. A part of me felt as if maybe he grew up in an environment where he had to play a protector of some sorts. If it weren't for him coming up last night who knows what would have happened.

I look down the hall and frown as I watch Daryl's figure disappear.

"Sage?" Glenn looks at me and waves, smiling.

"Hey, Glenn!" I say almost too happy. I had to shut my mouth about Shane in all circumstances. It would complicate everything. Glenn makes his way to me, his arms wrapped around himself.

"I just wanted to, uh.. apologize. For last night." He looks down, and I could tell this man had a hard time even killing a fly.

"Don't be sorry, Glenn. I just have a hard time opening up; my life wasn't that great before this." I give him a brief smile as l readjust my stance, seeing if I could see Daryl; but he was gone.

"I get it, I do." He looks up at me and smiles.

"You get a hangover from that wine?" I say with almost a chuckle. Wine never managed to get my drunk- it had to be straight rum or tequila. But I guess that came with tolerance when you're a bartender for years and have tried every mixed drink or straight alcohol in the book.

"Hell no, I wish...." He looks away and all I can do is raise an eyebrow as I notice him trying to keep his eyes closed.

"Glenn," I say with a smile.

"Okay maybe a little, okay?" He smiles back and we both start down the hall.

"So what are we doing? We leaving today, or?" I ask.

"Not sure; I know some people want to stay longer and others want to get back out there. I'm kind of playing in the middle- the guy hasn't given us reason to not trust him yet, you know?"

"I mean.. yeah, but there's just something Glenn. Why is he all alone here?" I see Carol, Sophia, Andrea, and Jackie ahead of us leaving their rooms.

"I get it, that's why I have my guard up as well. Can't ever trust anyone or a stranger fully nowadays." He sighs.

And that was the thing. Everyone has their own tactics to survive and if it wasn't to survive it was to kill. But everyone also had their own survival needs and wants, like a hot meal and a hot shower, a comfy bed and a glass of wine, sex. It all came in the comfort package for any grown adult on this planet.

The apocalypse had revealed people's true colors and brought out the monsters they used to repress- it gave them a reason to be vindictive, evil... but then there's some who had no shame in showing their true colors to anyone. Those who were born evil and died evil.