Diary

Yeah......

Ok so... I'm not going to continue the last chapter because my friend actually read it and didn't want it in. ^.^ but all my friends were totally supportive!

Ok.... So my first crush... I'm not going to say her real name so let's just call her krista.

So krista is super popular. With the guys mainly but she's the girl that the girls wanna be. She's the person that she can walk up to any grade, any person and become there best friend, See.... I can't do that. I'm horrible at making friends, I hate being social with people other then my friends, that's just what she's all about.

Lately she has been hugging heaps of her friends, kissing there foreheads and all cute and stuff. So Im kinda like... Is she bisexual?? Lesbian??? Cause she's dated guys before and I'm so confused I mean she acts the gayest out of everyone I know!

So yeah... I think I had a crush on her because she's everything I'm not and I guess secretly I want to be loud and friendly? I'm not sure.
But yes I got so more aware and acted SO shy around her.

My next crush was so quick and so stupid it didn't even classify as a crush. So yeah I got a crush on one of my friends... Which for all you people who have been in this situation understand how bad it is. And this is not the first time I have fallen for a close friend.

So I fell for my friend I'm not gonna name her... Because I would die if she found out but to give you a idea she's girly with a high voice. I told one friend and she told me to come clean but.. I just couldn't. It made it even worse when we did a truth or dare and this is what sorta happened.

Me: truth or dare Inca.
Inca: truth!
Me: if you could date someone in this room who would it be?

( note : people in the room were Ebonie, Inca, Loran, Holly, and me also were all girls.)

Inca: probably holly cause she's so cute and cuddly...
Me: ok... *laugh*
Inca: what about you??
Me: U-uh.... Loran.... *embarssed*
Loran: awwww I'd probably choose you to!

And yeah. So In my head I was like ok, ok, this could be a good start because they know I'm bisexual. And yeah It turned out that she wouldn't date girls. T-T

BUT!! I did learn something...
I'm considered a 'Stem' which is a Stud and a femme crossed together and for those who don't speak lesbian code it's basically I'm not girly and not tomboyish but in the middle. I mean I wanna be the romantic one.. The one who's lap is sat on, the one that opens the car door or who gives the kiss goodbye :D so I sound like a 'Stud' but... I don't dress manly or girly so I don't know...

ALSOOOO that I think my type is (p.s I feel horrible that I have a type but...)
'Femmes' also known as 'lipsticks' or easy language 'girly' yeah... I like the girly girls, not to crazy but girlyer then me (heh heh)

And that's it for this diary entry..