Diary

Depression and break up..

So, if your blind you most likely can't read the title of this chapter.. Basically, Ebonie (girlfriend for half a day) broke up with me.
After coming back to school after two weeks of sickness it was kinda awkward between us because neither of us knew what was gonna happen cause is been so long. THANKS GOD?!!? MY FIRST SERIOUS CRUSH WAS ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS!??!
I feel so bad... This is how to happened assholes.

Ebonie: *hands note* 'are we still going out?'

So I was like having mixed emotions...
1) she couldn't ask me that question and had to write it down and we were literally sitting next to each other.
2) I was feeling happy cause maybe she still wanted to go out and was asking if I wanted to
3) she was gonna break my frail, stupid heart.

So after a minute of running this through my mind. I decided it would be stupid to write back on the note when she was sitting next to me.

Me: i mean, I still like you. So I do..
*leans on her and smiles*

Ebonie: well..... The thing is, I don't really want to.

That's right. And I literally wanted to cry, die on the spot and just run away. I felt so bad and kinda of just awkwardly stopped leaning on her.

Ebonie: I'm sorry.

Me: it's ok.

Ebonie: can we still be friends?

But I was slowly dying... She didn't even give me a chance, *sigh* writing this is depressing, Also.. Double points For gotten fucking friend zoned.

Thank god that was the last period of the day, I couldn't stand being near her. So when we all sit together waiting for out buses I just left quickly and walked away I'm the opposite direction. Unfortunately looking back, (which by the way never do.)
I locked eyes with her.

*sighs at self stupidity and puts paper down banging head on table*

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Sorry.. Thats how I feel writing
this.

Anyway, that's enough about me. I didn't lose much I guess.