Diary

For Elli and Inca. My imperfections

So, you can still read this chapter but it's intended for the two people in the title who I hope read this.
(Please, please)

Now getting to point, I find it extremely hard to express my emotions and how I feel. That's why I'm writing this and getting you to read it so I don't have to explain it to you in person. So In these chapters you'll see how/what I actually think... Ever notice how I awkwardly try to get out of talking about how I feel?.. Inca? Remember how I hate hearing ideas to solve problems of mine out loud. Sorry about that by the way, looking back on it I sounded like a dick. >:|
The fact is I never had friends that actually asked if I was ok. Or dating advise and crushes. Every friend I ever had we always goofed off out of every serious matter not giving a shit about emotions and problems just being strange and laughing. That sounds idle right? Well I recon meeting you guys has been ONE of the best things that's happened to me. And I hope in time I'll open up thanks to you retarded people.

Also, one more thing can I write down the struggle in getting to this school And meeting you guys. I feel like I've never told you and I also thought you'd get bored listening. So... If you don't mind reading then here it is!!

(WARNING: MY LIFE)

Since my dad had gone to China to work he promised to come back in three years. Even to this day I remember seeing him off at 8 years old at the airport and him making that stupid promise and then crying all the time. Three years had passed, and he told me "just one more year!" But uh, no.
Anyway I'm off track.

After preschool I went into a different middle school and hated it I had this fake friend because I had none and hung around her, she was obsessed about 'star wars' and always forced me (a 9 year old) to play these really ruff games with tackling and fighting, and I was short and soft... So yeah imagine how that worked out.. My first day I distinctly remember a thing a boy said to me.

Boy: why are you so skinny???

Me: *looks down and fumbles*

To this day I still can't believe he made me feel bad for being skinny... Like, what an asshole.And the only reason that was is because I had been living in the middle of nowhere in a stone cottage (literally) I don't remember it much but all I had back then was a 'DS' and playing that game where you type in a word and the object comes up..

Example: cow
*cow pops up on screen*

There was also a group of year 10 boys who always picked on me on the bus and waiting for bus.

Bully boy: can I go in front of you?
*smirks*

There was this line to wait for the busses.

Me: NO!

And I said it a bit to loudly cause everyone in a two line radius looked at me and laughed. I just remember kind of hiding away...

I just realised writing this my life sounds really, really fake and made up... People reading are most likely thinking
"UGH NO ONE IS BULLIED THAT MUCH OR HAD SUCH RANDOM HOUSES AND STUFF."
but yeah.. Also my mom has always moved everywhere... I have never had a real house that I've lived in for more then a year. Anyway I don't care if you believe me or not I'm not writing this down for your well being. I'm writing it down so I'll remember what I've been through, and so when I feel bad I can think
'Well, I have been in worse situations.."

Anyway..
I moved schools cause I forced my mom to.. And I was currently in Steiner school where I made my two life long best friends Isabelle and Tahlia. Us three were insane, we didn't care what others thought. People would be out doing sport and us three Would sit down and talk about the randomness things and just have the best time. These guys were my life. My bbfs for ever. And then mom wanted to move because
"It's to boring here!?!?!"
Is what she would tell you. I was heart broken. I loved my friends to much and absolutely couldn't leave I begged and begged mom to stay. And she wouldn't. So I made the hard choice of living with my grandma while mom and my brother and sister moved off in another state in which you had to catch a plane. So at first I was like
'Ok.... This isn't to bad, I get to stay with my friends!??!!'
But a month later my aunty (who lived with my grandma still) grandad and grandma all started fighting. Grandma and aunty most. It would get so bad I would have to go in my room and lock the door, listen to music and just try and ignore it. I know people have it worse then me.. But for me it was hard. They would get in the most stupidest fights and I tried to stop it all the time but just got yelled at. School started to become my escape, (Ikr coming from a person who hates getting up every morning for it.) grandma and I used to be best friends playing scrabble and games.. I loved her so much, but then she started picking on me... And becoming very nasty? Would you call it. I kept strong and kept telling myself do it for your friends, do it for your friends.. But it all got to much and I fell into a deep depression from bullying at school, fighting non stop at home and having neither of my parents with me for support.. I lost my appetite and started sleeping in class, failing tests and just not doing well at school. But I kept telling myself stay for friends...

All this shit went down and I'm not going to bore you but my mom forced me to go doing to where they moved.. Moms partner troy went out of control.. (You know how I hate him and he hates me and stuff so I won't get into that.)

I went to a small school in the new state. I felt so off and didn't have much choice of friends because the school literally had 13 kids including me.... Only 4 were my age -.- I went for a holiday back to my home town and asked grandma to take me back. I missed my friends to much, but she said no.... And I was so heart broken... I spent 1 week with my friends before leaving and going to my new high school.
And that's where my past ends..
I have many other stories back in that mess but I've already typed 1085 words so....

Thank you Elli and Inca if your still reading this heated mess... Also to anyone else who actually did as well XD so I'm gonna go before this gets weird.
Bye!!!!

~Ace