Beautifully Tragic

Chapter 28: Realization - Kasper's P.O.V

Stop. Stop it, Kasper. STOP IT!

Those thoughts circulated in my head as I tortured Donovan. It suddenly got too much to the point where I dropped the knife on the ground and started to sob, hitting my head with my bloodied hands.

"Get out! Get out of my head!"

I screamed, hitting my head even harder as both Mrs. Batchler and Donovan watched. Tears poured down my face as I fought as hard as I could to gain control back.

I stood up quickly, staring at both of them. "I never wanted this! I hate hurting people! I hate it!"

I said, pacing. I looked over at Donovan's bleeding body and, without any hesitation, I laughed. I laughed at the sight of him bleeding. I laughed at the cuts I've made and the markings.

"You know.. I came from a middle class Christian family. My parents never gave a shit what happened to me and do you want to know why? Their excuse was 'Anything that happens is God's will and we have to respect that'. Do you know how awful that was? I'd tell them I got hurt, I'd tell them that I wanted to die and that I didn't want to do anything anymore, and they told me to deal with it because that's what their precious little God wanted." I said, shaking my head, laughing. "One day, this guy who had hurt me tried murdering me and I defended myself, accidentally killing him. And then right after that, something just clicked in me. I realized that killing these people who hurt others was my passion."

"No, Kasper. This isn't about you." Donovan managed to say, blood pouring down his chin. "It's about those people who hurt you.. You didn't deserve to get hurt and I realize that now. I remember years ago my dad brought you here. He deserved what he got."

"Donovan!" Mrs. Batchler cut in.

"Shut up!" Donovan snapped, blood gushing from the cuts as I watched him, tears touching my cheeks. I couldn't believe that he finally realized what I've been through. Donovan continued, "All those people who have hurt you deserve to die, but you're not a murderer, Kasper. You're not a murderer. Don't let them fool you this way."

I stared at him, not moving, barely even breathing. Finally. Finally someone understands. I look down at my bloodied hands before looking at Donovan.

"But you've hurt me. You've let others hurt me and you made me fall in love just so you could kill me. I've never loved someone before, especially as much as you."