First Love's Secret

chapter 23

"Everyone's invited, Carrie." he said excitedly, great do I have to belong to that Everyone? Now I'll just have to think of some reason why I can't come.

      "You're cordially invited to our engagement party...blah blah blah" Simon read the invitation then stared at me "I guess you're not going, right?". I shrugged, do I really have to answer that? "Well, could you please give me one reason why you should not come?" Simon asked. I sighed, "I don't know, maybe I would not be feeling well on that day?" Simon's brow rose with the answer I gave him "very predictably" he rolled his eyes.

      I didn't remember myself agreeing to be here in this heartbreaking event, with my two best friends insisting it, I was dragged here, wearing this ZARA silver bondage backless dress. "Carrie..." Badj came to me as my escort since Kath cannot come and volunteered to baby sit Bea, so it was their plan all along. "OMG! Carrie, you looked stunning!" one of my co-workers complimented me. "I love your dress" the other one shrieked and as soon as Lhianne caught my eyes, she just rolled her eyes and went straight I know she hated me but I think she loved my dress.

      "Carrie! Hi" Mr. Timbre and the other's ushered me to our table, good thing were just far enough for me to have a blurry view of their engagement kiss later. Suddenly I felt like something just crushed my chest, thinking about suicide?

      Later on, the program started, and there they are Drew who looked just like a god went down from heavens and his fiancé who looked graceful and divine, they just looked so great together. I braced myself not to be affected, I don't want to give them some show here, and me playing as the other woman. "They looked lovely" one of the people sitting with us blurted, hearing it made my heart crushed even more, and I'm starting to lose my breath, I grabbed my napkin under the table, nervously distracting me by gripping it hardly. I think Badj noticed as he took my hand and I looked at him and he was smiling, thank God I have somebody here to help ease the pain.

      After their announcement, everyone chilled inside, some busy chatting, the others were drinking and happily dancing. "Badj, I need to use the powder room" thank goodness I have escaped, I went outside the foyer for some air, I think I just need more oxygen after losing some a while ago.

      Then suddenly I shrieked when someone grabbed me, "Sshh" it's Drew. He asked if we could talked at first I disagreed but then he was so stubborn and still begging me, I gave in again.

      We went at the back door, end up at the fountain, the fountain was lovely with cupid statues on it. I was so fascinated with the fountain until Drew break in, "Carrie, I" he looked at me worried, oh my gosh just by staring at him makes my heart hurt even more, I need to get away from it so I managed to speak "congratulation" I said dryly hiding the pain in my word.

      He was taken aback, like he didn't expected me to say it. "Thanks" he said, I just can't handle this I think my tears are going to burst so I asked if I could go back inside. But all he said was, "why did you come?" I was so shocked I almost vomit my heart out, what's wrong with him? "You invited me!" I pointed him. "It was for formality's sake and Giana was the one who—" he stopped when he saw my surprised reaction, so Giana was the name, tell me all about her! tell me why did you choose her?! and why not me instead!

      "I'm sorry" he said softly, "why? you don't owe me one." I can't hardly talk. "I'm sorry it went too soon" yeah soon enough and I will burst my heart into pieces. "It was arranged by my mom, Gia, is my childhood friend, the daugther of my mom's doctor." why is he telling this to me, I don't even care about her! "my mom's dying Carrie" I stopped with wide eyes staring at him, I difficulty swallowed the lump in my throat. "I-I didn't know, how is she?" he sighed then continued "she barely has 1-2 years left, and all she ever dreamed is for me to have someone to look after me, she want to make sure I have a family of my own and a grandchild for her to see at her very last moment.

      Chills run through my veins, the thought of Drew's mother made my guilt ate my soul up. What have I done? We could be family, I could look after Drew, and Bea could play with her grandmother. Tears started forming in my eyes, "Carrie, I had given you enough stress with your life, the mistakes I haven't corrected with you, after you left me at the senior's night, and you never talked to me again, it broke my heart Carrie." I gaped. I left him because he of what he thought of me, "I heard you that night with your friends, you told them I wasn't a girlfriend material!" he gaped, "I only said that so that Jefferson will stop pinning at you, I don't want you to get hurt and be with that asshole!" I was so shocked, I never knew Jeff the basketball captain is pinning on me, well that was news, old news.

We stand there awkward. Then he managed to hold my hand, and kissed my knuckles, "I loved you ever since I sat with you in class Carrie, but I think it's too late, I have given you so much trouble, and worries and I don't want you to be a part of my unfortunate life, my mother is a mistress and I am their mistake, I want you to have a better life Carrie, I was really a mistake all along."

      Tears burst out my eyes, I was sobbing so hard that I gripped on Drews shoulders to take some air, I don't think I could handle this, Drew was in love with me? After hearing this I felt I was the most unfortunate girl in the world, this is really karma!

      "Carrie, hang on! I'm sorry I always make you cry" Drew said, as he embraced me. Oh Drew, why now, why only now, if only I could turn back the time, if only I had to choose you over my selfishness. We could be together now, happily ever after, you were my prince charming all along, if only I gave him the chance.

      I cried and cried as he took me in his arms, "don't marry her, Drew" I said softly I know he heard it when I heard his silent laugh. "I still love you Carrie, but I want you to choose the right way, the right decisions" he touched my cheeks softly it turned red, I love his touch and the way he make me feel.

      Then suddenly, my phone buzzed and I answered it, it was Kath calling and Bea's at the hospital. I asked Drew to stay but he insisted, he wanted me safe until at the hospital and he'll be back to his party as soon as everything's ok.