First Love's Secret

chapter 3

I can't help but just stare at my now cold coffee, with moochie my lil' pug licking my toes and Blaire just cried in the television series gossip girl. This was supposed to be my early Sunday morning routine, but after what happened last night my life was doomed.

I admit, I feel giddy, overwhelmed and well, fascinated. But I feel guilty, that was not supposed to happen if only Jazz was with me that night, if only he was the one I was booty shaking last night on the dance floor with and got laid with him at dawn that would be acceptable.

My heart skips a beat when my blackberry buzzed, I looked up, 16 messages received, 10 from Kath, 3 from my boss at work, 3 from Jazz, then suddenly I feel relieved. That was just one wasted accidental one-night stand, nothing to ponder at. I checked on Kath's messages first...

Kath: where r u?, around 3am this morning

Kath: r u ok? pls reply. I'm waiting.

I can't help but smile, Kath is very protective ever since elementary, she's tough I may say, poor Badj. Then I checked on my boss' messages...

Boss: Carrie, please email to me the proposal for next week's meeting, thanks.

Boss: kindly attached the corresponding address of the website for the magazine's interview, thanks.

Boss: sorry for the early reminder, just feeling excited for the launching, gudam.

Susie, I mean my senior chief editor of glam magazine, not too bossy but sometimes, she's too excited in everything I suggest. Then taking a deep breath, I checked on my sweetheart's messages...

Jazz: great night loves, r u having fun there? send my best wishes to the couple. Love lots.

This message was received at around 10 pm last Saturday, maybe I was distracted by that dumbass and I didn't notice Jazz' texts.

Jazz: hey honey, r u ok? missing u so much, I think ur having fun there, no to alcohol please, Love lots.

I think I might cry, oohhh Jazz. And his last text message was around 2am in the morning...

Jazz: I hope I'm with u this moment, thinking of u makes me wanting u more, I will be back on Wednesday morning, can't wait to see you, Love lots.

That was it, I cried my heart out! "Foolish!" I shouted at myself. Then suddenly, my blackberry beeps, half expecting it could be Jazz but, I stared at this numbers flashing on my phone, who could this be?

No name: hey, sorry to disappoint you, it was indeed a pleasure to meet u again Carina Lee. -Drew.

I dropped my phone, I instantly stopped crying but my heart is still racing, how did he got my number? This could be a very big problem, why is he back? Oh God, please spare me with this god-like dumbass, all I wanted was to have a fairytale like love story, not a horrible second-chances.

At lunch time, it was routine to have lunch with Kath at our all-time fave kitchenette at park square. She was all blabbing and story tattering, while I on the other side can't help but stare at somewhere and my mind was nowhere to be found.

"Hey! Carina Lee!" I got with myself again, "what is happening with you?" Kath asked me with eyes narrowing like some-kind-of a detective. My mouth went dry, and then she caught me, "I knew it!" my eyes went wide, "Wha-what do you know?" I asked half nervous.

"That Andrew, he had a thing on you, AGAIN." Kath states giving emphasis with the word, "again". "I saw how you two looked at each other, the way he dances with you that night, and you were all drunk, and by the time I got worried about you, you got lost out of sight." ok, too much of watching Nancy drew and Sherlock Holmes Mrs. Rhie, still not used of my best friend's new last name, and it is Hindu.

I started practicing my deep-breathing exercise, "OK, there's something you must know." I told Kath, and she was like all smiles at me, intriguing. "We had...it." her smile went straight. "Wha-what it?!" she asked. I made the stop-pretending-you-don't-know look, "AH! OMG, I was surprised." we went silent for a moment, then our lunch came.

After lunch, we went on with our Sunday afternoon routine, strolling and shopping at the square. Half of me feel a little weird, half regretting what I blurted a while ago. Then she opened up, "So, how was he?" I blinked, "who's he?" She made a knowing look, "Your first crush aka dream boy? How was he in bed." she made that cute but gorgeous half smile.

I went scarlet red, "Your blushing Ms. Lee." she teased. "Hey, am not! And how could you ask!" I hate it when I'm caught off guard. "Well, how are you feeling after? Did you have that giddy, bone-deep attraction you had with him like when you were sixteen?" Kath can't help giggling while fondly checking on baby dresses. "No." I denied or sort of, "your bluffing." oh, sometimes it was too easy to bluff when you're not with someone whom you're with half of your life.