Book 2: The Three of Us

Chapter 1: What's Done Is Done

Rushing down the hall to the operation room, Shizune steps in front of me, blocking me from entering. I look up at her in frustration, "I should be in there operating on him."

"They have already started reconstructing his chakra pathways, there's nothing you could even be doing to help. You know the risk of introducing another chakra mid way through," Shizune  says.

The sound of a scream makes my head snap towards the door, "Why the hell hasn't he been put under?!"

"There's complications because of how his gills work, it's not possible for him to be put under anesthesia," Shizune explains.

Hearing him in so much pain causes me to become restless and my whole body fill with tension. Taking a deep breath, I try to get in more air but the anxiety weighs down on my chest, making me feel suffocated. My whole body fills with nervous energy, causing me to pace back and forth, "I need to be able to see him. Please."

"Are you sure you want to see him like this?" Shizune asks.

Stopping my pacing, I look back towards her, "Yes, I do."

Shizune's face softens, "Let's wait until Itachi-san gets here. Okay?"

I let out a heavy breath, "Okay."

Standing still causes nervous energy to build up in me again. I continue my pacing and shake my hands as I walk, the movements helping calm me. Time passes by unbearably slow as I wait. When Itachi finally arrives, I rush towards him and pull him into a hug. We stay like that for a while before we pull apart slightly. Looking up at him, we make eye contact, his sharingan activated. Holding my waist with one hand, Itachi's other hand signs at me, 'He's safe now. He'll be okay.'

Itachi's use of sign language shows how stressed and overwhelmed he is. The realization  makes me feel momentarily guilty for forgetting about his feelings. I sign back, 'Are you okay?' I know using sign with him instead of speaking makes him feel calmer.

'Overwhelmed but okay. When will we be able to see him?' Itachi asks.

'Now that you're here, we can watch from the observation  room,' I sign back. Turning back towards Shizune, I speak to her instead of signing, "Can we see him now?"

Shizune nods and heads towards the observation room beside the operation room. Opening the door, she lets us in. She stays in the doorway as we make our way in, "You two can stay here until he's out of surgery."

"Thank you," I say to her. She gives me a smile before leaving and closing the door behind her.

Taking a look at Kisame through the one way mirror makes me feel sick to my stomach. There were restraints holding him down, along with multiple other medics holding him down to keep him still. There was almost nothing more painful than having your chakra network put back together and he has to be awake for every second of it. Itachi takes my hand in his, squeezing it gently, sending a silent message that he was here with me, that we were all going to get through this.

The surgery went on for hours, feeling like it would never end. Kisame had moments of clarity, when the pain wasn't overwhelming and he could keep himself still and even adding in some jokes. But those moments would end quickly as another chakra pathway was reconstructed, the pain overwhelming him, leaving him delirious and thrashing around, his survival instinct taking over and causing him to do everything he could to get away from the pain.

I couldn't help but feel like I've failed him. How come this never came up? That he didn't respond to medication in the same way we did. I'm a medic and he is someone I care for and this never once crossed my mind. There was nothing in this hospital that was made for him. We weren't equipped to treat him properly and he was suffering because of it.

Itachi taps me on the shoulder to get my attention, signing, 'It's not your fault. There was no way you could of known.'

'I can't help it. I can't stop feeling like I've failed him both as a doctor and as someone who cares about him. Not once did I even think about this. His respiratory system works completely different then ours and I still didn't,' I explain.

'What's done is done. There's no changing it and no point to beat yourself up about it,' Itachi signs to me, his emotions becoming easy to read.

'I need to do better,' I sign back.

'And you will but right now there's nothing more important then being here for Kisame,' Itachi signs, at the end he pulls me towards him and kisses me gently on the forehead.