Book 2: The Three of Us

Chapter 23: Unexpected Consequences

After traveling none stop all day, night falls and we finally find a place to set up camp. To get to the summit in time, we packed light and only have to set out our sleeping bags around the fire we lit. Sitting on my sleeping bag, I lean over and place more wood on the fire. Sakura lays down beside me, reading a book by the light of the fire. While Tsunade lays down on the other side of the fire, looking up at the clear night sky.

Closing my eyes, I let the block between my chakra and Haa Shageinyaa - nature chakra - crumble bit by bit, slowly letting it connect again. The instant my body is able to access Haa Shageinyaa's chakra, my body is able to heal my gills that have been bothering me. Tension leaves my body and for the first time since before the attack, I don't feel like I'm being surrounded by an endless void. Allowing full movement and access to my chakra, I let go of the default damper I put on my chakra and allow it to rest naturally.

"Kisame, please explain to me why you've been hiding the fact that you're a sage," Tsunade says, voice sharp as it breaks the silence that had fallen between the three of us.

The surprise of hearing her speak has me putting the damper back on my chakra as my eyes snap open to look at her. My brow nits together as I try to understand what she's saying, "What are you talking about?"

"Don't act dumb with me, kid," she snaps out.

The raising of her voice causes me to flinch slightly and my once relaxed state is gone, "I seriously have no idea what you're talking about."

What ever sage mode was, I've never heard of it. There was a possibility she was referring to me connecting with Haa Shageinyaa and the thought of that sets me on edge. The voice of my Papa and his warnings ring through my mind. My mind screams Danger! at me, years of trained reactions surfacing to the very front of my mind.

Sakura's gentle and steady voice pierces through my mind, stopping me from closing myself off completely, "Kisame, what you just did with your chakra was incredible. I've noticed your chakra has been different lately and I want to understand why it's back to how it felt before."

I look from Sakura to Tsunade, not knowing what to say or what to do. The look of hurt on Anko's face when I pushed her way comes to the front of my mind and the very idea of seeing that look on anyone else face I care about makes my stomach drop. I couldn't do that to them. It felt as if every part of me was yelling at me to stop, to just stay silent but I knew I couldn't do that anymore. I had to be able to trust others completely. I've been hiding so much of myself and it wasn't fair to them.

"The Hoshiki people have always had the ability to connect with the Haa Shageinyaa - at least, that's what we called it," I look down at my hands laying in my lap as I speak, "Nature chakra or nature energy are other names I've heard for it. Gaki's have always been more in tune with this energy. I was five years old when I learned how to connect my chakra with the world around me and feel nature itself, as if I was one with it. When I'm disconnected from it, I become tired more easily and my healing slows. After the attack on the village," I pause, clenching my hands into tight fists as I remember the pain, "I felt the land itself as it was torn apart as if each of my cells were also being torn apart. It became too much, so I cut off the connection. Now that we're away from all that, I can reconnect without feeling constant pain."

"Do you know how hard it is to not feel hurt when I find out you've been hiding another thing from me?" Sakura says.

My gaze snaps in her direction when she speaks but she refuses to look at me. All I can do is desperately grasp onto something to fix this, words tumbling out of my mouth in panic, "This is different from that. This is a clan secret put in place to protect my people. Imagine what would happen if the rest of the world found out about this. My people would be either hunted and killed or forced to become weapons. It wasn't uncommon for this to even be hidden from people that married into the Hoshiki people."

Despite my plea her gaze doesn't meet mine and I can see the feeling of betrayal written across her face. I really messed up. I said I wouldn't hide anything - that I wasn't hiding anything else - and it was a lie. I lied. The thought didn't even cross my mind to say anything about this. I hate lies so much and guess what I went and did. I'm nothing more then a hypocritical idiot. 

I look away from Sakura, ashamed of myself and focus my attention back on Tsunade when she speaks, "Kisame, do you know what a sage is?"

I shrug half-heartedly, unable to muster up the energy to do much else but respond with a distracted, "Not really."

"A sage is someone who's able to take in nature chakra and combine it with there own to create an advanced form of chakra called sage chakra, this then allows this person to activate sage mode. My grandfather - the first hokage - is the only person in all of history until Naruto that I've known to acquire perfect sage mode. Jiraiya was also able to use sage mode with the help of his toad summons but he wasn't a perfect sage, so while he was in sage mode, he took on some of the features of a toad. And you're telling me that you've been able to access nature chakra your whole life?" With each word Tsunade speaks, the faster she talks, words tumbling out of her in passion bordering on frantic. 

I let out a long breath, "Yes. Everyone in my clan is able to do it to a certain extend, even those who aren't shinobi."

Tsunade leans forward as she speaks, staring intensely at me, "But how is that possible?"

I bite the inside of my cheek until I taste blood and with in a matter of seconds I can already feel the cut knitting itself back together, "I don't know. My people have always had a close affinity to sharks, there are even stories that say a human and a shark had children together and created the Hoshiki people."

"For those that learn sage mode but aren't able to master it, they take on the characteristics of the animal they learned it from. For most those changes are temporary but sometimes they're permanent. Anyone that knows anything about sage mode would look at you and think you're an incomplete sage. I don't know why I didn't even stop to think about why you look like you do! But, anyways, whatever you are is something different. This ability to access nature chakra isn't just on a chakra level but possibly on a cellular level. It has to be because the trait has been passed down from generation to generation. It's incredible! " she says and then turns towards Sakura, "Sakura, you must have something to say about how incredible this is." 

She turns in our direction, eyes colder then I've ever seen and gives us both a look that leaves me feeling unsettled. The way she was looking at us wasn't right, it didn't feel right and the words she says next makes my stomach drop in dread, "Sakura's not here right now. You'll have to talk with her some other time." 

I really fucked up.