Book 2: The Three of Us

Chapter 21: It Has to Wait

Soft snores come from Kisame as he sleeps soundly beside me. The pillow and blanket that he was using when we went to bed are pushed off to the side, the blanket only covering his feet. He still has the pants he wore yesterday on but he took his shirt off at some point. Taking in the mess of a room, filled with entirely way too many people and the few things that everyone was able to salvage from their destroyed houses. In this room it would be a miracle if we  were able to find his shirt. 

Turning onto my other side, I make eye contact with Itachi who's already awake. In the dark room I can just barely see as he mouths, 'Morning.' Sitting up, I slide onto his lap and lean down to give him a kiss. I can feel his smile as our lips connect and giddiness pools in my stomach. Sneaking the moment in the dark, just before the sun rises, in a room filled with my teammates and senseis made me feel like a teenager again. 

An old oil lamp flickers to life behind me and I turn to look over my shoulder. On the other side of the room is Naruto, an unimpressed look on his face as he glares at me. 

"Remember the rules, no sex," he says, a scowl making its way onto his face. I slap my hand over my mouth to stop the laugh that bubbles up in me. Sasuke sits up beside Naruto and makes an exaggerated gagging face before he gets up and leaves the room, carefully stepping over Kakashi and Yamato who are still sleeping. 

Itachi pulls me down towards him and whispers in my ear, "We've just been cock blocked." 

Something lands on my head and when I go to remove it, I realize it's Naruto's dirty underwear. Dropping it to the side, I climb off Itachi's lap and face Naruto. The moment he sees my face, his face pails and he desperately tries to escape. Pouncing on him, I put him in a choke hold and growl out, "You better think twice before you even think about throwing your dirty underwear at me again." 

"S-sakura! Sorry-sorry!"

"You better be!"

After a few minutes of rolling around on the ground, the two of us end up waking everyone in the room besides Kisame. How he managed to sleep through all the commotion is beyond me. 

Packed together in Kisame's two bedroom house is all of the rookie twelve and there sensei's, at least the ones that are still alive. Thinking of Asuma makes my heart heavy with grief and I cringe at the reminder that not all of us were here. Taking that emotion, I squash it and push it to the farthest corner of my mind, far back enough for my Inner to take hold of it and lock it away. Years of therapy and working through my mind with the help of Yamanaka's had created a symbiotic relationship with the other me that I share my body and mind with. We spent hundreds of hours piecing together every detail in my mind, creating a vast hallway with door on each side that lead to rooms filled with books, each one representing a memory of mine. 

She has been silent for two years now, and most of the time I can't even feel her presence in my mind. But she was there, diligently taking care of my mind scape. Every memory, everything thing I read and learn, all of it passed through her and was organized into the correct place in my mind. It took years of work for us to come to this understanding but recently I could feel her growing disgruntlement. She believes her life's purpose is to protect me from physical, mental and emotional harm and this past six months have not been easy. She was able to see that better then even I could and she was not okay with it. 

Instead of taking the time to process and deal with my negative emotions, I gave them to her to put them in the "I'll deal with this later" room. A room in my mind that was now a growing mess of shelves filled with books distorted and growing monsteras features. Asume's death. Jiraiya's dead. Kisame coming back from the mission injured. The constant worry for Itachi and his illness. The guilt of never telling Sasuke about it. Finding out the truth about Danzo. Kisame's time in The Rink and the damage that created. Itachi going blind. Realizing that the masked man in Obito Uchiha. Hiding that from Kakashi. Feeling powerless and scared and helpless and unable to fix anything. Itachi dying during the invasion and then coming back to life. The homeless woman I've known my whole life who was now dead and who's name I never asked for. Constantly thinking about what terrible thing would come next. The constant thought of who will die next. 

Inners presence was the strongest it's been in three years and I know that at some point it will become too much, the door would burst open and everything would all come out at once. All I could hope was that it would wait until after all of this. After the Five Kage Summit, after the village was rebuilt, after I was able to reach a point in my life that bad things would stop happening one after the other in an uncontrollable mess. It had to wait. 

***

My mother crosses her arms and lets out a long sigh, "It's been over a week since the attack and you're only now checking up on me." 

I take a steadying breath before speaking, "I've been busy helping run a hospital, Mother. The day after the attack I made sure you were alive and then went on with my life because I don't have the time." 

The ever present disapproving frown that she always has when talking to me settle onto her face, "What brings you here then?"

"I've been assigned to Hokage-sama's protection detail for the Five Kage Summit in the Land of Iron. I'm here to ask your permission to use the Haruno clan name during the meeting to sway the mediator in favor of Konoha." 

Her eyebrows raise in surprise, "You've spent your whole life disrespecting our clan and culture, and you want me to let you use the clan name to your benefit?" 

My hands clench together at my sides and I can feel as my nails dig into my palms. Despite this, I keep my voice calm and steady as I speak, "If you ever bothered to actually have a real conversation with me, you'd know that I've spent the last five years studying the traditional kenjutsu of the Land of Iron. I may be a shinobi but I've never denied that I come from a clan of samurai."

Her face shifts to something softer, something I'm unable to decipher, "You're also here to ask for our family crest and sword." 

"Yes, I am." 

"Okay." 

It takes me a moment to process her easy agreement and my mouth hangs open in surprise. I was not expecting her to not start an argument over this. Blinking owlishly at her, I ask, "Really?" 

"I don't agree with your lifestyle but you'll need everything you can to get an advantage in those meetings. Don't forget that I was once a politician in the Land of Iron, I'm familiar with how they work and to say they are biased in an understatement. You might as well use that to your benefit. I can see you are already aware of their bias and are prepared to use it against them. It's good to know that you listened to at least some of the things I tried to teach you growing up." 

My voice falls quiet, "I was always listening." 

"Good," she says with a quick nod. I watch her as she takes a steadying breath before continuing, "This is a good time to tell you I'm moving back to the Land of Iron. I'll be leaving on the next caravan." 

I was expecting to feel hurt or disappointed but all I could feel was relief. This was for the best for both of us. When ever we were together, we only ever brought out the worst in each other. We were better off as far away from each other as possible. 

My mother pulls a scroll out from her bag and holds it out to me, "It's the only thing I grabbed before I had to evacuate."

Grabbing it from her, I say, "Thank you." 

"One last word of advice. What you wear says more then words ever will. Keep that in mind while you're in the Land of Iron." 

"I will."