Autumn Haze

11: 'The one with the hair change...(again.)'

I glare at myself angrily mirror as I grip the side of my bathroom sink, constantly memories flashing through my head.

Everyone wanted me to be okay.

So that's what I'll be.

The colour of copper just reminds me of healing now or at-least the attempt to heal. I needed it gone because I wasn't going to get better, I physically couldn't.

My shaking hands go to the bathtub where the hairdresser scissors and hair-dye was scattered around. I let out a sharp breath before I mix the bleach and peroxide together.

The best way to act fixed is to, act like how you where before it happened.

I wince as I apply it roughly onto my scalp, there was no way I could guess how this shit-show was going to turn out. But as long as I was blonde that's all that matters.

Everyone loved me blonde that's the hair shade I had before my life was ruined.

The bleach burns slightly, I move past this and continue to lather my hair with. I watch as the orange in my hair slowly lightens.

I had a long list in my head on what I have to complete so I at least look the part, even if I didn't feel it.

I open my bathroom window before I sit on the ledge, I light a cigarette before swinging my legs out of the window, I inhale deeply before exhaling.

...

I grimace at the pale yellowish colour which is currently covering my hair, thank fuck for purple shampoo and toner. I soak my hair with as much toner as possible.

Because the old Autumn Martin would refuse to look anything but perfect.

I glance as my phone vibrates, I look down and see the caller ID, I quickly decline the call.

Because Autumn Martin would never answer her boyfriend the first time that he calls, he has to prove how much he wants to speak to you.

I sigh loudly before I sit down on my bathroom floor with tears in my eyes, I didn't want to be that version of myself again, but I truly feel as if I've exhausted all of my options.

...

I stare at myself and the bleach blonde curls that where staring back at me, just a little bit of false tan and almost look like my old self again.

I glance down at my beaten and broken nails before I let out a small huff, a trip to the nail salon it is. I grab my jacket before I leave my bedroom, I stop in my tracks when I see Luke standing there talking with Olivia.

His eyes widen, his eyes catch mine, 'Y-You've changed your hair?'

I shrug, 'I felt like a change.'

'Y-You look...pretty.'

I scoff loudly, 'If you're going to lie, at-least make it convincing.'

'I-I wasn't lying, I always think that you look pretty. It's just that you don't look like yourself that's all.'

I narrow my eyes, 'I've had blonde hair my entire life.'

'Y-Yeah I know that I'm just used to the copper that's all, I promise you look beautiful love.'

I roll my eyes, 'Whatever. What are you doing here?'

'I-I just wanted to see you, is that okay?'

'Didn't you get the hint when I didn't answer your call? No one likes an obsessive boyfriend, it isn't a cute look, Lucas.'