Autumn Haze

13: 'The one with the brother...'

I smile softly when I see Luke fast asleep in my desk-chair, I didn't feel comfortable enough to share a bed with him and he was partly worried that someone could have slipped something into my drink, so he decided he'd keep an eye out on me.

I grimace as I look at the fingerprint shaped bruises on my wrist, I feel my breathing start to become slowly uneven before hot tears stream down my cheeks.

I don't want to do this anymore.

I don't want to be constantly afraid.

I don't want to feel weak.

I want to feel alive.

I shake my head as I clutch my chest, a strangled sob escapes my lips as my breathing starts to become more painful.

My eyes widen massively when Olivia waltzes into my room holding a basket of laundry, she freezes in her tracks, 'Babe I'm so sorry, I thought you were staying at Luke's otherwise I would have knocked.'

I wave my hand dismissively as I force a smile onto my face, I don't trust my voice right now not to break or crack.

She frowns deeply, the moment our eyes meet, she races over to the bed and sits down next to me, 'A-Are you okay?'

I nod slowly, 'Y-Y-Y...Yeah.'

'Your breathing is really shallow honey, do you suffer with panic attacks?'

I shrug mutely.

She gently wraps an arm around my shoulder, 'Okay, have I ever told you about the time that I got kicked out of pre-school.'

I shake my head, 'N-No...'

'Okay, so personally I don't think any of this was my fault, but we move. There was this girl Bianca, we absolutely despised each other, I couldn't even tell you why, but we just did. Personally, I like to believe that she was jealous of me. Anyway, one day, she pushed me off the monkey bars and I thought enough is enough, so I snuck into the classroom while everyone else was a recess and I stole the class fish and put it down her top.'

A watery laugh escapes my lips, 'W-What the fuck.'

The blonde woman next to me shrugs, 'I think I mostly got in trouble because the fish died, I didn't realise that fish needed water to live.'

My breathing steady's slightly as another laugh tumbles out of my lips, 'L-Liv, there's something that I need to talk to you about later. I-I don't feel comfortable with going into the details, but I-I think I want to postpone college for a year.'

She nods slowly as she squeezes my shoulders, 'You don't have to give me any details, as long as you are happy and safe. That's all I care about.'

My heart warms slightly, 'T-Thank you.'

...

I snuggle into Winter's side as she gently strokes my hair, we've been watching re-runs of Hannah Montana for the past hour. I didn't have it in me to wake up, Luke yet. He's been through so much in the past few days and looking after me is probably delaying the healing from his father.

'Sissy?'

'Hmm.' 

The small blonde next to me huffs, 'I just don't get it! How does no-one know it's her? They have the same face but with different hair.'

I shrug, 'I don't know Winnie, I've wondered this for years.'

I freeze slightly when the doorbell goes off, I stay seated until it begins to go off again and again. I shakily stand on my feet, I slowly trudge to the front door, my trembling hands open it just enough, so that I could see the person on the other side, but they can't really see me.