Autumn Haze

31: 'The one with the truth...'

My heart squeezes tightly as I watch Luke cradles Violet close to his chest, his entire face is lit up with nothing but pure awe.

He's completely and utterly besotted.

We all were.

Who knew that such a tiny person could fill so much a massive hole in all of our hearts?

We've all been through hell and back in ways that we couldn't even describe.

Me with the assault.

Scarlett with her eating disorder.

Sammy with coming to terms with his sexuality.

Luke with his dad.

But when we all looked at Violet we felt this surge of hope, she was a reminder that even though life can be truly horrendous, it can also bring us the gift of love, pure unconditional love.

'Luke.' I manage out, my voice wavering slightly.

His head snaps up at me his eyes watching me with caution, 'Yeah?'

I cough in an attempt to balance out the cracking which is about to follow when I open my mouth, 'Can I talk to you for a moment?'

The black haired boy nods unsurely as he passes Violet back to her mother who is also glancing at me with concern shining through her eyes, I give her a small smile in the hopes that will comfort her. But I know Scarlett and she knows me.

She knows that smile is fake.

My shaking hand grabs Luke's before I lead him upstairs, my heart pounds uncomfortably against my ribcage. I move as slowly as possible because the bile burning in the back of my throat is becoming increasingly alarming.

I know what I'm about to tell Luke could change everything.

I know his future involves a large house with a white picket fence, a large dog and numerous little people running along the garden.

And I couldn't offer him that.

No matter how much I yearn too.

'Autumn.'

I squeeze my eyes shut as I perch myself on the edge of his bed, 'I need to tell you something.'

'What is it?'

A sharp breath leaves my lips, 'I-I know that...this could change things between us and I've accepted that.'

'Okay...'

'And I'm really sorry.' I croak out as hot tears burn the corner of my eyes, my stomach churns as he kneels down in-front of me and gently cradles my hands.

'Talk to me love.'

'I-I...I can't had kids.'

His entire expression drops, 'What?'

My breathing starts to become uneven as more tears roll down my cheeks, 'I-I...I thought I was pregnant, a few months ago but when I went to the doctor, they performed some tests and they told me that my womb is scarred from...the assault and it means that...there's a very strong chance that I'll never be able to have kids.'

I prepare myself.

I prepare myself for him to tell me that he loves me but he can't be with me anymore because he wants children.

My eyes widen as I feel his large arms wrap around my frame, his head nestles into the crook of my neck, his hands rubbing soothing circles on my back.

'Are you okay?' He whispers into my neck.