Autumn Haze

18: 'The one with New York, New York...'

I turn to glance at Sammy who is proudly singing one direction at the top of his lungs despite the circumstances, I can't help but feel relieved that he's home. I never thought that Sammy Taylor would be someone, I missed that much it physically hurt.

'Come on Autumn, I've seen your Harry Styles lock screen!'

'I'm not singing with you.'

'If you don't sing with me, I'll start driving blindfolded.'

I snort loudly, 'With what blindfold?'

'Fine, I'll just shut my eyes then!'

'No, you fucking won't.'

'Do you want to try me?'

I give him a teasing smile, 'Yeah, go for it!'

He looks at me warily before a loud sigh escapes from his lips, 'Okay, I can't do it but I'm mentally closing my eyes, I hope you know this.'

'I do, don't worry.'

'Do you think that it's to soon for me to start using dating apps?'

I shrug, 'Everyone is different, it depends on how you feel.'

'Honestly, I don't know how I feel. All I know is that I don't miss him.'

'Do you want to talk about what happened?'

'Not to to be honest, that's the last thing I want to do right now.'

We where only roughly fifteen minutes away from Luke's apartment and to be honest I feel as If I'm going to be violently sick at any minute. The last time that I was there I acted horrible towards him, I practically broke up with him myself. And now everything was ruined, destroyed and I'm so terrified that nothing will ever be the same again.

I just need him to be okay.

I couldn't care less in this moment that he didn't want me anymore.

All I care about is him.

His safety.

His happiness.

His everything.

Please you can take everything from me, I just want him to be okay.

My entire body stops when I notice a vaguely familiar figure hunched over a bench their head in their hands.

'PULL OVER!' I screech as my throat burns.

Sammy looks at me startled, 'What?'

'FUCKING PULL OVER!' I cry out.

The vehicle begins to slowly down, I don't even wait for it to fully slow down before I climb out of it. I run as face as I physically can until I'm just inches away from the bench.

'...R-Ryan?'

The head snaps up, their glare on me immediately, 'What?'

I gulp as my stomach twists uncomfortable, 'R-Ryan W-Wilson...is that you?'

The man sits up straight as he eyes me up and down, 'How the fuck do you know, who I am?'

'Y-You're Lucas Wilson's father right?'

His entire body pales dramatically as his eyes study my face for a few seconds, '...Fuck.'

'Y-You're supposed to be dead.' I croak out as hot tears stream down my cheeks, I can't help but feel a blinding rage as I stare at this man, if that's what you could even call him, 'T-There was a funeral for you.'