Autumn Haze

12: 'The one with the shower...'

I sniffle loudly as Luke gently sits me down on my bed, 'W-Why does this keep happening to me?'

He kneels down in-front of me with an unreadable expression, 'I don't know love.'

'I-I need to get his hands of me...h-he grabbed me, I-I was just going to t-the bathroom, and he grabbed me. I-I thought it was going to happen again.' I murmur before I stand up.

I let out a loud sob as I walk into my ensuite, I shakily turn the shower on. I strip out of clothes before I sit down on the shower floor, I grab my sponge and begin to roughly start scrubbing, my sobs becoming louder and more painful.

My eyes widen when I see Luke standing in the doorframe of the bathroom with his eyes closed and an small frown on his face, 'D-Do you want anything?'

'J-Just don't leave.' I croak out.

He nods slowly before he sits down beside the shower, one of his hands opens the shower door, his hand searches for mine, my trembling hand intwines with his.

'I-I'm sorry I was such a bitch earlier.'

'Y-You weren't a bitch.'

'I-I was.'

'Even if you were, that doesn't matter now. None of that shit matters.'

'I-I feel like my body isn't mine. P-People just touch me against my will.'

His hand squeezes mine, 'I-I promise that your body is yours, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.'

'I-I feel like I'm prisoner. I-I have some many touches etched onto my body; touches I didn't even want.'

'I-I wish that I could turn back time and save you from all of this.'

'Me too.'

'I love you so much and I'm sorry if telling you now makes you feel uncomfortable, but I just want you to know how loved you are.'

'I-I love you too. I-I'm sorry.'

'You've got nothing to apologise for. You haven't done anything wrong.'

'I-I just wanted to be fixed, I'm tired of being broken.'

'I don't think you're broken. I think you are just someone who is trying to work through their trauma and for that I will be endlessly proud of you.'

'I-I don't deserve you.'

'Autumn, if I could capture all of the stars in the entire fucking galaxy, it still wouldn't be enough, that's how much you deserve.'

I shrug, 'I-I still don't get why you like me, I-I'm boring. T-There's a lot of girls out there who are funnier or adventurous.'

'But they aren't you. You've made a permanent mark in my heart now, so no one will ever compare.'

'I-I just wish that me and you could live somewhere in a little bubble away from the rest of the world.'

'Sammy and Scar will have to visit us though, they'll get jealous.'

A watery laugh escapes my lips, 'Obviously.'

'I-I'm going to move back home.'

My eyes widen, I scramble up as safely and quickly as I can against the slippery floor before I shut the shower off, 'W-What?'

'I'm just going to take my classes online until I know you're okay.'

I shake my head, 'N-No you aren't.'

'Yes I am. Y-You aren't just my girlfriend; you are my best friend and I'll do whatever it takes to protect you.'

'Luke, I love you for that, but I can't let you do this, I-I'll be fine, I've got Olivia, Scarlett...I've even got your mom. I'll be okay.'

He opens the shower door before he wraps a towel tightly around my body, 'I don't feel comfortable leaving you.'

'Well, I don't feel comfortable you giving up something you've worked so hard for.'

'I-It's just temporary.'

'Luke, it won't be, and we both know it. P-Please go back, I promise I'll be okay. P-Plus Scarlett is due to pop any day now, so I'll be so busy being the doting aunt, I'd barely see you anyway.'

A small smile works its way onto his face, 'You know, one day you could literally be the baby's aunt.'

'F-Fuck, are you proposing?'

He laughs softly, 'No, not yet at-least.'

'So, you want to propose to me?'

'Maybe one day. Who knows?'

'I'm just telling you now, if the rock isn't the size of my head, it's a no.'

'Don't worry princess, I'll keep that in mind.'

I chew down on my bottom lip, 'I-I think I need to tell O-Olivia about what's happened to me.'

His eyebrows knit together as he gingerly reaches out and cradles my face, 'You don't have to do anything.'

'W-Well I at least owe her a reason on why I'm dropping out of college and moving back home.'

He shrugs, 'If you don't feel comfortable telling her then just make something up.'

I raise an eyebrow, 'Like what?'

'I don't know, I'm just the pretty face. You are the brains behind this relationship.'

I laugh softly, 'I like that you can make me laugh even in my darkest hours.'

'And I'll always be here to do this for you.'

'I feel like you're always the one looking after me and it makes me feel incredibly guilty.'

He presses a kiss on the top of my head, 'You are the most supportive partner, I could ever ask for.'

'N-Not really.'

He gives me a look, 'I'm not an idiot, when we got home after I took you to see my childhood home, you were searching for boxing gyms or any kind of gym that was for sale. I saw you.'

I narrow my eyes, 'You were meant to be asleep when I was doing that.'

'Regardless, you aren't in a good place right now and you still spent all night trying to find something to help me achieve something I've always wanted.'

'B-Because you are the best person I know.'

'Ditto. So did you find any?'

I nod sheepishly, 'I may have printed out the viewings and colour coded them.'

His smile widens, 'I love how dorky you are.'

I scoff, 'I'm not dorky.'

'You are extremely dorky but it's one of my favourite things about you.'

'I-I'm sorry I went to a party without asking you first.'

Luke freezes for a second, 'Autumn, you can go to whatever fucking party you want, you don't have to ask me first. You don't have to ask me to do anything, I'm your boyfriend not your father.'

'O-Oh, w-when I was with Kyle I-I used to have to ask him if I was allowed to do things.'

'Well, I'm never going to be the kind of guy.'

'I-I know you're not.'