Lilliana March 1994
"Luis, we need to go. Amy and Santiago are waiting for us."
"Coming. Just need to finish changing my shirt."
Luis walks out a moment later and kisses me.
"Ready Love."
I go to open the door and there is someone standing there. After jumping, I notice it is a police officer.
"I am looking for Mr and Mrs Mendoza
"I'm Lilliana and this is my husband Luis. Can we help you with something?"
"Do you know a Amy and Santiago Delavega?"
"Yes. Any and Santiago are friends of ours. Amy was my foster sister. Santiago runs the store down the road. Is everything okay?"
"I'm sorry to inform you that Santiago and Amy were the victims of a robber gone bad this afternoon. Both were shot and killed this afternoon."
"Oh god!" I cry, stunned.
"Did you catch the guy who did it," Luis asks, wrapping an arm around me as I begin to cry.
"Not yet unfortunately."
"Wait! Usnavi, their son! Where is Usnavi?"
"The baby was in the back of the store sleeping. He is safe and currently in the care of CPS. We found an emergency contact card in the diaper bag. Do Mr and Mrs Delavega have next or kin that we can contact?"
"No," I say crying. "As I said, Amy was a foster kid and Santiago was disowned by his family."
"We are Usnavi's god parents and legal guardians, in case something happened. I have a copy of their will in my office. Can we see Alexander please?"
The officer hands us a card. "Call this number. They can help you."
Luis takes it and nods. "Thank you."
Luis closes the door and pulls me into his arms as we cry.
It takes a week before we are allowed to take Usnavi home with is. Usnavi is given the bodega with us trusted to run it until Usnavi is old enough to decide what he wants to do with it.
Lilliana August 1995
Lilly, Love, you two almost ready. I need to be to work by 8:30."
Luis walks in as I am rocking Usnavi in the rocking chair.
"Lilly, Love, what's wrong?"
"What if I'm making a mistake? He still needs me. He isn't ready for daycare."
"Love, you gave up two years of your career to raise Navi. You have been itching to get back to being a teacher. I promise, he will be fine. He needs to start today, so he can get used to being in daycare. Daniella says this is a great daycare. Her daughter goes there and they love it."
I nod and hug Usnavi a little tighter. "I love you so much Usnavi."
"I love you Mama."
Later, when we drop him off, he eagerly runs off to play. He was crying as we tried to hand him to the teacher. The moment he saw Vanessa, the daughter of Luis's boss, he stopped crying and ran to her. We walked out the door and Luis held me as I cried.
Lilliana June 2000
It has been seven years since I went back to teaching. Today is my last day before summer vacation and I am looking forward to a summer with my family.
Today is also Usnavi's last day of daycare. He starts kindergarten in the fall. When he walks down the hall, he looks upset.
"Baby, what's wrong?"
"Today is my last day at daycare with Nessa. I'm not going to see her anymore."
"Baby, you will still see her. We already have days planned for you two to see her. Also, we found out yesterday that Vanessa is going to the same school as you."
"Really!" He says, peeking up.
"Yes. Now hurry up and eat. We need to get to school.
Luis walks out a moment later and kisses me.
"Mom, dad, gross. Do you have to do that in-front of me?"
"Yes," Luis laughs. "I love your mom's kisses. One day, you will understand. So, are you ready for today?"
"Not really, but mom made me feel better about it."
"She is good at that. Cheer up, tonight mom and I are taking you to a special dinner."
"Really? Why?"
"You will have to wait and see," Luis says.
"Dad!"
Luis laughs and kisses Usnavi on the head. "Tonight will be here before you know it. Just know, you will love it."
Alex rolls his eyes and eats his breakfast. As he eats, I walk Luis to the door.
"Love, enjoy your day. I will be there after school to help get the last of your things." He then lays a hand on my stomach. "Don't work too hard."
"I love you Luis. I will see you later."
"Love you too Lilly."
Later that night, the three of us are sitting at our favorite restaurant.
"Dad, can you tell me now? What is the big surprise?"
Luis laughs and looks at me. "Should we tell him now or make him wait until after dinner?"
"Daaad!"
I laugh and nod. "Let's tell him. Usnavi, your dad and I got some exciting news. Baby, we found out last week that I have a baby in my tummy. You are going to be a big brother."
His face lights up. "Really!"
"Yeah baby. I am having a baby girl in November."
Usnavi jumps up and runs over to me. He hugs me tight. "I'm so excited mommy!"
I kiss his head and hug him. "I'm glad. You are going to be an amazing big brother."
Luis July 2002
I am at work when I get a call from Lilly.
"Is everything okay Love?"
"Luis, something is wrong. I am headed to the hospital."
"What's wrong?" I ask, jumping up and gathering my stuff.
"It feels like contractions," she says half crying. "At least, what I imagine they feel like. I... oh god, it hurts!" She says crying.
"What hospital are you going to?" I ask. She tells me and I race to meet her.
Seven hours later, Lilly is crying as she delivers our baby at 20 weeks.
"She's too early George! She won't survive."
"I know Love. We will love her while we can." I say, hugging Lilliana close to me. They tried to stop the contractions after Lilly got here but they were unsuccessful.
"We were finally pregnant. Usnavi was going to be a big brother. It's not fair! It's all my fault. I couldn't keep her in!"
"Lilliana, this is not your fault. This just happens sometimes. It sucks and it hurts, but it happens. We will never forget about our little angel."
Our baby lived for ten minutes. Just long enough for Lilly to hold her and tell her we love her. A few hours after her birth, Usnavi comes to see us and to meet his baby sister.
"Mommy, why did she die?"
"She was too little baby."
"Mommy, will I ever have a baby sister or brother?"
Lilliana begins to cry and I pick up Usnavi. "We don't know bud. We hope so, but if not, we are happy that you get to be our son."
"Even if I'm not your real son?"
"You are our real son, you just aren't our biological son. We love you, no matter what."
Usnavi nods and looks at Lilly, who has tears rolling down her face.
"Daddy, is mommy going to be sad for a long time?"
Lilly reaches for Usnavi and they snuggle into each other. "Baby, I am sad but your love will help heal me. Your love and Daddy's love are what I need."
