Usnavi March 2025
I had step out the room for five minutes to ask about an epidural for Vanessa. When I walk back in, she looks dazed and pale. She is covered in sweat.
"Amor, they will be here in five minutes... Amor!"
I run over and place a hand on her head. She feels almost cold.
"Vanessa, what's wrong? Talk to me."
I see her trying to talk but nothing comes out.
Her eyes close and a monitor goes of. That is when I realize she is not breathing.
"Vanessa! Talk to me! What's wrong?" I scream. She doesn't answer and all I can do is yell for help.
"Vanessa, wake up!" I cry as a nurse walks in. When she sees Vanessa, she runs over and checks her pulse.
"What happened?"
"I don't know. I stepped out for a moment and when I come back, she she looks like a ghost."
The nurse presses a blue button near her bed and gets up and starts doing CPR on my wife. Before I can really process what is happening, the room is full of doctors and nurses.
"She isn't breathing and she has no pulse."
The doctors work for five minutes to get her breathing again when another monitor goes off. "The baby is in distress. We need to get it out now!"
"What's going on!" I cry as they continue to do CPR on Vanessa.
"We don't know. All we know is that she is not breathing and your child will likely die if we don't get the baby out now!"
"What's happening?" I sob as they rush out of the room with Vanessa. A nurse stops me.
"Your wife is not breathing and she has no pulse. we need to get the baby out now."
"Is she going to be okay? What about my baby?"
"I don't know. We will do all we can. Someone will come see you when we know something."
Ten minutes later, I am waiting by the surgery doors when they come out with a baby.
"Is that my baby?" I ask, recognizing the nurse that went with my wife.
"Mr Delavega, this is your son. We are taking him to the NICU. He wasn't breathing when we was born. We got him breathing but he will need supplemental oxygen to get his oxygen levels stable. You can walk with us up, but you will have to wait outside."
"My wife, how is my wife?"
"They are still working on her."
We get up to the NICU and they make me wait outside. That is when reality hits. I begin to sob and all I know is I need my mom. I pull out my phone and call her.
"Mommy!"
"Usnavi, what's wrong?"
"She died mommy! I stepped out for one moment. When I came back in, she... she died!"
I break down into sobs and begin to shake.
"Usanavi, baby, breathe! I can't understand what you are saying."
She talks to me until I am coherent again.
"Now, tell me what happened."
I barely get it out again before I break down into sobs.
"Usnavi , I am on my way. I will have Marisol watch the kids. Can you manage to call Vanessa's moms I can do it for you, if you want me to?"
"You," I cry. "I... I can't!"
"Okay. I will be there as soon as I can. Everything will be okay. I have to believe that."
Mom arrives thirty minutes later. By that time, I am holding my son in the NICU. He is on oxygen to bring his blood oxygen levels up. He has a small cut, that required three stitches, on his shoulder from the emergency c-section. They won't know if the lack of oxygen affected anything until later.
When I see mom, I set my son down and run out to see her. I collapse into her arms. She holds me and rocks me on the hospital floor until I can breathe again.
"Have you heard anything yet?"
I shake my head. "Not yet. I can't lose her mom. I can't lose my Vanessa!"
"I don't think that will happen. Even if it does, you won't be alone. I will help you. Your siblings will help you. Now, how is the baby?"
I sit up and wipe my eyes. I help mom off the floor and take her into the NICU. My baby is sleeping in his bed. "He... he is steady. He went a long time without oxygen. They don't know if it affected him yet."
Mom walks over and lays a hand on his little head. She is silent for a moment and then turns to me. "He is strong. I believe he will be okay, just like I believe his mom will be okay. Does he have a name yet?"
I wipe my eyes and nod. "His name is Luis."
Tears spring to moms eyes but she smiles. She bends down and kisses little Luis.
"Hi little man. I am your Abuela. You are such a strong little man, just like your Abuelo. You will be okay and so will your mom."
Thirty minutes later, a doctor from Vanessa's room walks in. I rush to her. "How is Vanessa?"
"We believe she had an amniotic fluid embolism. That is when amniotic fluid ends up in the bloodstream. It caused her heart to stop. When we got her back to the OR, we were able to restore her heartbeat. We unfortunately lost it two more times before the doctor made the decision to put her on ECMO. It is to give her heart a rest and reduce strain on it. She has had a transfusion due to the blood loss from the emergency C-section. She is also on a ventilator. Right now, it is a waiting game to see what happens. Her bleeding isn't too bad. We have it under control and she is in the ICU."
"She... she's alive?"
"Yes. For now, she is alive. I want to express, she is in critical condition. We have hope she will survive the day, but we can't promise anything. This condition is fatal 80% of the time. All we can do right now is wait."
"Can I see her, please!"
"Yes. Right this way!"
Mom takes my hand and we follow the doctor. When I see Vanessa, she is connected to dozens of tubes and wires. I walk over, afraid to touch her.
"You can touch her. You won't hurt her. Just watch out for these tubes." He says, pointing to tubes that are connected to her neck. That must be the ECMO machine he told me about.
"Here, take a seat beside her." The doctor tells me.
I sit in the chair beside Vanessa. Mom takes her hand and places it in my hand. "Talk to her Usnavi. Let her know you are here."
It takes a moment, but I finally get the words out. "I am here Vanessa. Please, please don't leave me. Please don't leave our son. We have a beautiful baby boy who is waiting to meet his mommy. I named him Luis, like you wanted. We have four other kids at home waiting for you. Just stay with me and our kids. I can't lose you. I can't lose you again!"
I kiss her hand and lay my face on the bed. I sob and kiss her hand again.
"Stay with me please. Stay with us!"
I feel mom lay a hand on my back. "She is a fighter Usnavi."
I hear mom say a quiet prayer and then wrap her arms around me. I continue to hold Vanessa's hand and cry. I just continue to whisper, "please don't leave me."
