TW: mentions of Rape and kidnapping
Vanessa June 2011
Usnavi and I are walking home, when suddenly he has us cross the street. I turn a little and see this creepy looking man behind us.
"Usnavi, what's going on?"
"Just being cautious," he says, squeezing my hand. As we cross the street, the man follows. I get an uneasy feeling. Before I can really process what is happening, Usnavi pushes me and tells me to run. Just as I get to the stoop of the apartment, a man from the other direction grabs me. I didn't even see him. I was too focused on the man behind me. I scream but he puts a hand over my mouth.
"You fight and we will kill the boy."
I nod, tears rolling down my face. He drags me over to a van and opens the door. As they drag me in, I see the other guy hit Usnavi in the face with the gun. I scream his name as he hits the ground hard. When I do, I feel a cloth over my mouth and soon, the world goes black.
The next time I wake up, I am in a strange room. It is small with no windows. I have a pounding headache and I am scared. I walk over to the door and try to open it. It is locked and I begin to scream and pound. The door opens and two men walk in.
"Please, let me out. I just want to go home. My parents, they have money. They will give you whatever you want, if you just let me go."
"Shut up and sit down." He yells.
I jump and sit on the bed.
"You are home now. My name is Matthew. This is John. You are here to serve us. Hopefully, soon, you will give us children. Now, shower and get out of those clothes. We will be back later."
He lays something on the bed and they walk out. I try to run out after them but he shuts the door before I can stop him.
"Please! Let me out!" I scream, cry, and pound on the door until I can't anymore.
A few hours later, I am crying on the bed when Benedict and John walk back in. When Matthew sees me, he looks pissed.
"Why have you not showered and changed?"
"Please, let me go home. My parents will pay whatever you want."
He backhands me and I fall to the floor.
"You will listen to what we say, or there will be consequences. Now, go shower and put the dress on!"
When I hesitate, he picks me up by an arm and slaps me again.
"You will obey!"
He then drags me into a tiny bathroom, tears my dress off of me, and shoves me in the shower. I scream from the shock of the cold water.
"Now wash yourself and get dressed. If you are not dressed by the time I return, you will be punished."
I quickly wash my hair and body, not wanting to see what he will do next. The dress is big on me but it is also short and goes up to my knees. It has a zipper on the front.
When Matthew returns, he drags me to the bed. John holds me down and Matthew forces himself on me. John tries to comfort me during the experience but I only feel revulsion for him.
Vanessa April 2012
It has been eight months, I think, since I was taken from my family and from Usnavi. I have tried to keep track with marks on the wall. I have learned to adapt, but it is still hell. I spend most of my time alone in this tiny room. I have three books, that I have read a dozen times or more. I also have a puzzle that I have done just as many times. I have taught myself to sew with the tiny sewing kit I have. I am also more fit then I ever have ever been. About a week after I was brought here, I started doing all kinds of exercises to keep me from going insane.
Matthew and John comes to my bed about eight times a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less. They are usually together but occasionally one or the other will come on their own. Matthew is cruel and usually hurts me. John is usually gentle but still takes what he wants.
I am shocked I haven't ended up pregnant yet. Well, at least until lately. I have been so sick the last few days and I haven't had my period in a few months.
I am puking again when John and Matthew walk in. Matthew looks at me with disgust and then realization.
"Are you pregnant?"
"How would I know. I have been locked in this damn room for months."
He slaps me. "Don't sass me girl. I will go get you a test."
He walks out and quickly shuts the door behind him. John stays with me. He looks at me with tears in his eyes. "Are you really pregnant?"
I nod. "I think so."
John breaks into tears. He leads me to the bed, lays me down and kisses my stomach.
"I'm going to be a daddy. I am finally going to be a daddy."
Later that day, the test confirms I am pregnant.
"Please, I just want to go home. I want my moms. I don't know how to raise a baby."
He slaps me again and I fall to the bed.
"Shut up and lay down on the bed."
"Please, what if you hurt the baby?"
"You know what happens if you disobey."
Not wanting a beating, I lay down and let Matthew have his way.
Vanessa December 2012
It is November, I think. Whenever he opens the door, I feel cold air. If I am right about the month, I am about seven or eight months pregnant. I feel my baby kicking every day. I have so many different emotions when I feel my baby kick. I feel joy that I'm not alone. I am terrified for his future. I am even more afraid he will be taken from me. I don't know for certain, but I believe my baby is a boy.
I am sitting, sewing an old shirt into a baby outfit, when there is a bang on the door. I jump and crawl to the end of my bed when it happens again. All I can think is that Matthew is pissed and had another bad day at work. Whenever that happens, he always takes it out on me.
The bang on the door happens another two times and then it flies opens. Several people rush in the room and I cower as much as I can.
"No, please don't hurt me!"
"The girl is in here."
"Please don't hurt me," I cry.
"Vanessa, you are safe. We are not going to hurt you."
I realize I recognize that voice. I look up and see Nina's mom staring at me.
"Camilla?"
"You're safe honey. Let's get you home."
"Where am I?"
"You are in Hamilton heights. You are only about twenty blocks from home. We got a tip and traced you here. Your moms will meet us at the hospital."
I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight as I cry. She holds me and helps me get to the ambulance.
We get to the hospital, and mom is the first one to see me. She has me in her arms seconds after she sees me. Mami is only a step behind her.
"Mom! Mami!"
"It's you. We found you baby, we found you!"
"They hurt me mommy!"
"They can't hurt you anymore. You are safe Vanessa. You are safe now!"
