Soul Ties

Chapter 21 [The Lord will take me in...]

Psalm 27:10
For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.

Ziana
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1 week later

TRIGGER WARNING! GROOMING.

Ive been holding onto this now for too long... i cant keep hiding this from my parents. All of it, the pregnancy, the stupid marriage i just agreed to? I get a punch in my stomach at the thought of it..

I have no idea what to say, i signed the contract there's, no going back now. Im sure he's already made it to the bank and has cashed out every check by now...

I want to tell my parents but i cant, how can i? If they hear that im doing this for their sake then they will definitely make me put this off and with all my moms surgeries and my baby there's no way i can do that.

But its been a weeks of me wandering and dancing my words out of me having to actually say anything to my parents to everybody for that matter but i refuse to keep hiding it all... I cant keep on pretending,

"This the last load?" Elijah asks me leaning against the door frame with his head looking down towards me, his dreads falling over his eyes as he puts his hands in his pockets. I uncross my legs on the floor and reach forward to grab the last empty box.

The only good thing about this is the fact that Miller booked me a few moving vans to help out with things so im not completely left in the dark.

"This is the last one. Ive been packing all week remind me why I'm doing this again?" I say looking up towards him with a doubtful expression

My mom just got back from the hospital a week ago, the surgery was a complete success thanks be to God but the doctor said we still need to keep an eye on her, i was so happy to see her finally be able to use her facial muscles again until the doctor warned me not to get too excited because she may be back in sooner than i expect.

After calling him a mood soaker i decided to take in his words, he may be right i may not have the longest time left with ma and something about that motivates me to tell her everything that happened and what's been going on with me.

"I can't remind you of something i have no idea why you're doing Zee." He shrugs his shoulders up and down before walking closer into the room kicking the box towards me with a screwed facial expression and crossed arms like a kid.

"Because-" I begin before grabbing the empty box and putting it to my side all in a struggle,

"I am tired of not being in control of my life anymore. I'm tired of constantly being worried and nervous about where my next check is coming from or what I'm going to have to sacrifice this time because I've had to go half on the bill again with pops, for once i want to get to do what i want. Don't crucify me, Judas." I state throwing tape at his chest and pointing to the area beside me.

The only bit of relief i am getting from this whole thing is the fact that the next surgery ma is going to have to get, we wont have to worry about delay and making ma stay stuck in some type of hospital bed for weeks on end until we come up with some cash. I guess all good things require a sacrifice eh?

If Jesus did it for me why cant i do it for her...

"You know that's the important part about being a Christian right? the fact that when you come to God your life is literally not your own anymore but it belongs to God? Giving over control is not something that we choose its something we must do." He preaches like he's on an alter giving me church ptsd...

"spare me the lecture Pastor mike Todd. Gosh, you know sometimes I think you're exactly who my parents would want me to marry instead of the chief. You're every Christian parents wet dream." An expression that I cant read comes unto his face for a slight second before disappearing under a tilt of his lips.