Soul Ties

Chapter 51 [ Just an Explanation ]

Mark 15:34
"Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?"

Ziana
-----
Word Count: 3138

"Read it again." I don't know why i want this knife to keep on digging further into my chest practically begging for Elijah to twist it.

He purses his lips desperately not wanting to do it, but this is what i need. Mostly because i just don't understand, I don't understand! I can't be understanding this right. I cant...

"Surely there's a mistake or something Zee zee, The last time we saw him, the guy looked like he was practically ready to walk down the aisle." Ma says as she strokes my braids. The last time i ever laid in my mothers lap like this, crying to her was when Samson died, that's the last time i felt hurt like this.

I haven't heard from roman in days, not a single text or anything and he never even came back home, i was so worried that something bad had happened to him especially because of the way he left the house, that was until this letter was sent from him to my parents house yesterday.

"Read it again." I whisper trying to get my faint words out through my sniffled cry.

"Ziana, i think 9 times is enough, dont you?" Elijah muttered as he brought over a cup of his signature hot chocolate to the bed side table for me but my body is too limp to get out of its fetal position laying on my head on ma's legs.

Her room matches the mood I've been stuck in since the last time i saw roman. Misery. The flower patterned cream coloured paint peals off the old walls in different places as it has since i was younger.

The walls look like they are closing in on the already small room only big enough for a king sized bed and a leather brown wardrobe that matches the wooden brown floors that creak with each step.

"One last time, just for closure?" I whimper staring at the dying candle lit at my parents bedside.

Yeah right, much closure a letter would give me. I need him, i need to hear his voice i need to hear what he's hiding from me.

Elijah sits on the edge of the bed at a respectful distance from me and my mom before he opens up the folded letter once again and sighs before reading.

"My dear Ziana..." I immediately start to sniffle and tear up imagining his voice being the one im hearing, my hand clutches at my mothers for any type of support.

"I am so sorry that it has to happen this way, i tried for days to think of how to break this to you face to face but the idea of seeing you cry and being at fault for any of your tears was enough to make me write this letter to you instead-" Elijah continues clearly trying to speed up his words so I don't fall into another crying fit.

"Excuse me for this being so sudden ziana, but i just couldn't keep on living in this delusion we are in. I cannot be the cause of any regret i know you will come to have in the future if you stay with me. You are my world ziana and i love you more than i love anyone, this is why i want you to be with who you deserve. A good Christian man who can give you everything you need." I whine as my lip quivers desperately wanting to cry, ma's gentle hold on my hand tightens.

"Your bible says not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Because of me you are going against the law of your God. You're a good Christian woman ziana and i don't want you messing any of those morals up for my name sake. Be with who gives you the Godly leadership you need my love. Go build a family with the man you deserve. It would be selfish for me to hold you to myself when i know you belong to another."