✓LOVER BOY | hwang hyunjin

39. Over Calls

Hyunjin couldn't calm his heart down. He paced around his room, feeling the knot in his insides tie and untie over and over again. He started questioning whether Yeseul knowing all about it was enough reason to withdraw from their friendship. He couldn't swallow down the lumping up emotions. Jeongin had tried calming him, saying that Yeseul did this in the best interest of his, that's why Soji had decided to trust her too.

Hyunjin trusted Yeseul. He did. He trusted Jeongin and Soji too. But did he feel the same about himself? After all the havoc he had caused? People had always said that he wasn't the one to blame, but in the end, it was he who sat behind the wheel that night. It was he who wasn't let in to see his sister who wasn't coming out of coma for days. All fingers pointed towards him. Hyunjin had many hands reaching out, promising help, but the moment his secured secret was out, they all would pull back. And he would watch himself slip into a spiralling darkness.

In the midst of it all his thoughts turned into bare dust when his phone started ringing.

Yeseul.

He was hesitant, but he couldn't risk letting go.

"Hello?" Hyunjin hadn't expected his voice to come out so softly. He felt cornered by all his stupid thoughts.

There was a pause on the line, then Yeseul sighed. It seemed as though she hadn't expected an answer. "Hey. How are you?"

Suddenly everything that cluttered his mind vanished.

Hyunjin needed to sit down. He felt light headed. "Dizzy. I'm good. " There was a pause on both sides. "You finally broke the silence."

"Sorry." Yeseul felt her cheeks turning warm. She wasn't prepared to be confronted about that. "Really, I'm sorry. I didn't want to do that. I wanted to talk to you, and..." She sighed. "I felt so embarrassed, Hyunjin. It was stupid of me. Call me a coward. I'll take it."

Hyunjin almost forgot the fact that she knew all about him now. All that he had worked hard to push down into a chest he wasn't proud of, it had finally popped open. But right now, he couldn't care less.

"Are you feeling any less embarrassed?" Hyunjin teased. Yeseul almost choked on air.

"Let's move on to the next topic." She coughed into the earpiece.

"Let's start difficult then."

"Touché."

"Do you think that incident made any negative impact on our friendship?" He started fiddling with his shirt, apprehensive to hear back. "It's all cool, right?"

Yeseul nodded, despite knowing he can't see her. "It was surprising. And embarrassing. That's all. Embarrassing because I practically poured my whole cardiovascular system out to you in the past."

Hyunjin couldn't fight his grin. Slowly it all came back. The discussions they had, the ramblings, and sudden meme wars. It was like a fond memory reeling in front of him. He chuckled in his fist. Then he remembered the last time he saw Yeseul. The music, the cheering, and in the elegance of the whole event, her. He couldn't get the picture out of his head. His friends would bring up his performance, and ask him how it felt. He didn't know what to say, because the first thing he could think of was Yeseul in her black dress. She looked like a dream. She always had.

"Hyunjin, are you still there?"

He snapped back to reality. "Yes. Sorry."

"This might sound silly, but I suddenly want to talk to you about so many things." She awaited something. An approval, a question. Something.

"Can I come over?"

This answer was something that surprised both of them. Hyunjin slapped his hand on his mouth, standing up suddenly. It was his turn to feel embarrassed.

"To talk. Sorry, that was too sudden—"

"Okay."