Little White Lies {Completed}

Chapter Eleven

Jeremy's phone rang from his jeans pocket and he groaned at the interruption. "Hello, Jed,"
"Hey. Have you seen Kenzi? She's not in her room and she's not answering her phone."
"Oh, uh... she's here. We were just having coffee," he stifled a giggle. "Her phone is on silent because she had a talk with Ethan and I think she forgot other people might try calling her. Would you like to speak to her?"
"No it's not important, as long as she's ok?"
"Yeah she's good." Kenzi covered her face with a pillow.
"We're going back in a couple of hours if it clears up, I'll call you. Tell Kenzi to turn her phone back on."
"I will. Bye."
He hung up and took the pillow off Kenzi's face, laughing. "Jed says turn your phone on, he's been looking for you."
"Oops." she giggled. "Could you get it for me? I'm not sure I want to look."
Jeremy pulled his jeans back on and went to the table, picking up Kenzi's phone. "oooooh." he said.
"How many?"
"43 calls, 20 text messages. And you're almost out of battery." he tossed it to her, she was sitting up with the covers pulled up to her chest and she flopped forward, putting her head on her knees.
"Fuck. This isn't going to be pretty. At least from 43 calls he only left 15 voicemails. That's something," she shrugged.
"Look at you, looking on the bright side."
"I'm in a strangely good mood." she said flicking through text messages.
She started to read the texts. To begin with they were furious and threatening because she had hung up on him and wouldn't return or answer his calls. The last five were begging her to come home, he would change, he would treat her better, he couldn't live without her. She felt a dull stab of guilt in her stomach. She could have, should have waited until she left before she slept with Jeremy. She had no intention of hurting Ethan, or getting back at him. The horrible knot began to build inside, what they had done was a mistake. She had never been unfaithful before and it wasn't a pleasant feeling.
"Kenzi? What's wrong?" Jeremy snapped her back out of her thoughts and she realised a tear had escaped on to her cheek. She hugged her knees to her chest as guilt washed over her.
"I cheated. Me. For all his controlling and jealousy, maybe he was right. It ends with me cheating on him."
"Shit. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Ever. You've opened my eyes and made me see what's possible. I could have stopped you and I didn't."
"Maybe, if you want, I can keep my distance for a while. I don't want to, but I don't want you carrying this around."
"Maybe. But I don't want you to."
"Well I don't want to either, but there will be plenty of time when you're ready. This is not just a Scotland fling for me, Kenzi."
She giggled and he frowned. "What?"
"You will always be my highland fling."

Kenzi opened her door the following morning, expecting Jeremy and instead finding a bunch of red roses. Please be from Jeremy, she thought. The card simply said 'Looking forward to giving you more firsts xx J'. She sent him a text to thank him, not sure if he would be awake yet. The next second there was another knock on the door, this time it was Jeremy and she grabbed his collar and pulled him inside, closing the door. She pushed him back against the door and kissed his mouth, hard, leaving both of them breathless when she pulled away.
"So you like them, then?" he laughed.
"They're beautiful. Thank you."
"You're beautiful. And you're very welcome. I have to go get ready, just thought I'd run down and say good morning first."
"I'll see you on the set at some point, I'm sure."
"I hope so."
Kenzi leaned back on the door after he closed it and sighed when she heard the phone ring. She had told Ethan not to call her again yesterday, she would talk to him when they had both calmed down. She was surprised he had kept his word and waited until now.
"Hi," she said flatly.
"Hi Kenzi. It's good to hear your voice,"
Is it? She thought. "You too. Have you thought about what I said?"
"Yes. I've been a complete arse Kenzi. The way I've treated you, it comes from love. I can't stand the thought of someone else looking at you, touching you, having you. But that doesn't excuse my behaviour, and I'm sorry. I love you and I want to fix it. I made an appointment with a counsellor today, I see him early next week."
Kenzi's stomach dropped. She didn't want him to change, she didn't think he could. But how could she leave if he was willing to try?
"Kenzi?"
"Hm?"
"Do you think one day you could love me again?"
"I think we should talk about this when I get home. It's only another week."
"Please, Kenz. I need to hear you say it. There's no point in me seeing a quack if you don't love me any more."
Tears stung her eyes. She felt trapped, he needed help regardless. She tried to choose her words carefully. "You were my first love, and you always will be. I don't know if I can fall in love with you again, but I think whatever happens with us you should give it a go. You used to be so sweet and loving, and I don't know what happened. But you can't treat other women like you treated me."
He sighed. "I'm not giving up on us."
"Don't give up on you, Ethan."
"I'm nothing without you."
God do we have to do this again? I say 'yes you are' you say 'no I'm not' and it ends with yet another threat that you'll blow your brains out if I leave you. Jeremy and Jed were right, I'm scared. It's all about fear that he will actually do it. That's what's keeping me here. The last thread.
"You can be, Ethan. You were before and you will be again." She stood up, took a deep breath and pushed her shoulders back, putting on her firmest voice. "Go see the counsellor and we will talk about it when I get back. I have to go now and get ready." She paused, adrenaline surging through her. Just say it, you've always known you have to call his bluff. "And the next time you start the Ethan pity party with statements like 'I can't live without you' or threatening to do something stupid I will hang up. Threatening to kill yourself will not make me stay." She hung up, hands shaking again.