Little White Lies {Completed}

Chapter Twenty Two

Rain poured down outside, making a deafening sound on the roof and sending rivulets trickling down the windows. Kenzi propped herself up on her elbows and looked at the window. It was almost still dark but something told her it was later than it seemed. Her watch said 6:14 and she groaned at her uncanny ability to wake a minute or so before her alarm. She showered, taking the time to wash and straighten her long hair and perfect her makeup. Today, for the last time, she would dress the way Ethan would have liked. The real Ethan, the one she fell in love with. The one who loved her either way, but liked her hair left long and straight so he could run his fingers through it. She had chosen a navy blue dress she'd forgotten she owned. He had loved that, too. Structured and fitted, it was sleeveless with a square neckline, plain at the top with a wide waistband that accentuated her tiny waist and a pleated skirt that hung just to her knees. Adding black satin peep toe heels she went down to the kitchen just before 7:30 where Jed was preparing breakfast, and she noticed three places set at the table.
"Good morning," he said, looking up from the stove and seeing her frown a little. "Jeremy's on his way over for breakfast."
"Oh. OK. Need some help?"
"Get the juice and some glasses?"

While they ate they talked about the plans for the day. Ethan's parents wanted to meet Kenzi at the funeral home before the ceremony, they had insisted on a viewing before the casket was closed. Seeing as they hadn't seen him in so long, Kenzi had agreed, even though she wasn't keen on it herself. The ceremony would be a simple one, led by a celebrant, with Ethan's sister reading a short eulogy. Afterward they would all go to a local restaurant Kenzi had booked for the afternoon, while his body was cremated.
When it was time to go Jeremy opened the car door for her, putting a warm hand on her back. "This might be inappropriate, but you look beautiful. Elegant and dignified." He said in to her ear.
"Thank you," she said as she sat down in the car. The boys had both changed after breakfast and were now wearing suits and black shirts. Jeremy had a red, white and black striped tie and looked incredibly handsome, if a little like a bodyguard. They arrived a little early and Kenzi went in to the small room alone. She felt like she was in a film, with the wood panelling covering the walls and the single casket in the middle of the room, surrounded by white and red flowers. Hesitantly she walked over to the black coffin and peered inside. She was shocked at how peaceful he looked. He looked like the old Ethan, without the constant angry frown on his face. A single tear slid down Kenzi's cheek.
"My Ethan," she said, sweeping a stray hair off his forehead. "In the last two days I have found out you were a drug user and had another girlfriend." She pulled the letter she had written out of her bag, along with a necklace he had given her when they first started dating, and put them gently in his pocket. "I still mean everything I said. I forgive you. I'm sorry I didn't see it, I'm sorry I couldn't help you, and I'm sorry this is how it had to end. How you chose to end it. I love you, and I will miss you dearly. Today is the end of this chapter of my life, I'm moving on. May you rest in peace now." She kissed his hand and laid it gently back down by his side. Wiping her face she turned back toward the door just as Margaret, Anthony and Melissa entered. Their greetings were short and she allowed them some time alone with him, going back to Jed and Jeremy in the foyer. Jeremy kept a protective hand on her back but kept his distance as the rest arrived, mostly relatives Kenzi didn't recognise. When Mark arrived he came straight in Kenzi's direction.
"Hi Mark," she said softly. "Thank you for calling yesterday. I think you did the right thing. Is she coming?"
"Yes. Any minute."
"I want to talk to her."
"Really?" He eyed her warily and then looked over her shoulder. "Here's your chance, then." He waved a blonde woman over to them and she hesitated, recognising Kenzi.
"Kenzi, this is Alison," he said nervously.
"Can we talk over there for a moment?" She gestured to a quiet area away from the rest of the crowd, and Alison nodded nervously.
"Two years, huh? I guess you probably knew about the meth too?"
Alison nodded, looking down at the floor, and Kenzi softened her voice. "I'm not going to bite your head off or anything. But I have a right to know. Don't I?"
"Yes, you do."
"Was he kind to you? Did he treat you well? And did you know about me?"
"Yes, he did. Very much so. And I did. I'm sorry Kenzi. Really, truly, sorry. I never meant for it to go on so long, or for you to get hurt."
"Did you love him? Did he love you?"
"He said he did. And yes, I loved him."
Kenzi nodded. "I'm only trying to protect his family, understand? They don't know about the drugs, or you, or the way he treated me. And if I can help it, they won't. They don't need to. I've talked to the manager here and when everyone else has gone you can go and see him if you like, before they take him to be cremated."
"That would mean the world to me, thank you. Can I ask you something? Why are you being so kind to me? To him?"
"Because I loved him. The Ethan I fell in love with was kind and caring, and he loved me. I'm choosing to remember that, not the man he became, the one who gave his love to someone else and took out his anger on me. And because I have nothing else left, I don't have the energy to fight with anyone. I have to go." The doors had opened and everyone was taking their seats. Kenzi sat toward the front and insisted Jed and Jeremy come with her, she didn't want to sit alone.
The service was short but beautiful and sincere, and Kenzi managed to reign in her emotions, only letting a few stray tears trickle down her cheeks. At the end she thanked the celebrant for his kind words and they walked down the street to the restaurant.
"I saw what you did for Alison," Jeremy said later. "That took guts and class, Kenzi."
"My kind and pure hearted exterior is just about worn down," she said wearily. "I think I need to go home."