cruel lie

27 1 2
                                        

every story has two sides,
and if I am the villain in yours,
then I think it is only fair I speak mine.

I know how it must have looked.
I left. I broke your heart.
And I found someone new so fast...
I didn't even give you time to process it.

I just couldn't love you.
I couldn't keep convincing myself that I did.

When it began, I thought it was love.
And maybe it was, for what I thought love was at the time.
It was my first encounter with love, my first illusion.
I didn't know anything else.

And then I met him,
and suddenly everything I thought I understood
felt too small to contain what I was feeling.

It wasn't fair.
Not to you.

Because I couldn't look at you anymore
and turn what I felt into something bigger than it was.

I think what I had for you was something softer.
Something real, just not what you were hoping for.

And I didn't have the courage to say it
without breaking something that already felt so fragile.

So I lied.

I told you I needed space,
when what I really needed
was the ability to leave
without destroying you completely.

What a cruel thing that is —
to care for someone
and still not be able to love them
the way they want to be loved.

What a cruel lie.

|POEMS| The untold words...Stories to obsess over. Discover now