confession #4

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I chose to leave with peace, chose to accept your words, smile and move on. Like it never happened, like you hadn't become my whole world. And when you smiled, glad that I understood your reasons to leave me, to break me, glad that we could act like we never cared that deeply for each other, I just nodded my head.

The truth is I wanted to scream and fight and cry, wanted to hurt you just as bad, wanted to insult you for acting like it was no big deal, wanted to destroy you and never see you again.

I wish I had told you just how inconsiderate was asking that of me, how cruel to give me your love and just rip it off like an used bandaid, how selfish to move on and asking me to do it just as fast.

I wish I had revealed my true feeling of anger, hate and hurt, but I just stayed there, fists clenched at my sides and never said a word.

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