Nothing and Everything

Chapter 15

- Friday, Camila leaves -
Camila woke up, feeling like absolute shit. She had left Lauren sobbing yesterday. Something she wanted to avoid yet still caused. If she didnt love Lauren, why did this hurt so much? Camila wasnt used to it. To the feelings. She was upset because she was weak enough to let feelings take over her. Her made up reality was slowly shattering. She couldnt let that happen. She got up from her bed and got dressed. The girls had all been dreading this day, atleast thats what they told Camila. Camila thought she was doing them a favor by leaving them. In her made up world, her and Lauren had a happy relationship together, and her and the girls were happy. Deep down she knew everything was falling apart, but she couldnt bring herself to accept it. She glanced at her bags, realization hitting her that she was moving to Mexico for what appeared to be the fifth time this week. She walked down the stairs into the kitchen. She saw her mother sitting on a chair. Sinu looked up at her daughter and gave her a sympathetic smile. She knew better than to ask her daughter what was wrong, it would only upset her. "When are we leaving?" Camila asked, anxious to get everything over with. "We leave on the plane in 6 hours mija." Sinu replied. Camila sighed and decided to meet up with the girls as she planned, "Ill wait for you at the airport mami." Sinu nodded and let her leave.

Camila met up with the girls at a park nearby the airport. She saw three people and hurt hit her like a tsunami. Lauren wasnt here. Lauren wasnt here to say goodbye. Camila cried. Camila cried and cursed whoever was listening. The girls saw how distraught Camila was and engulfed her into a huge group hug. Camila sobbed and didnt show any intention on stopping. If there was anything she could do right now, was lay in Lauren's arms, telling her that everything would be alright. But Lauren hated her. An hour passed and Camila had calmed down. Dinah sighed realizing that her best friend was distraught that Lauren wasnt here. "We tried to convince her to come Mila, but she didnt want to see you," Dinah blurted. "She hates me Dinah, I need to accept it." Truth was, she probably will never accept it, as sad as that sounded, Camila belived everything would get better. For she believed in miracles. "I have to go in four hours guys," Camila said not wanting for it to be a fact. The girls talked away. Talking about how they first met and everything theyve gone through. Ally listening intently since she wasnt friends with all of them since the beginning. Dinah mentioned how stubborn Camila was at first. She didnt want any friends, and now she was practically crying because she was leaving them. Camila huffed and punched Dinah lightly on her shoulder, earning laughs from the others. Normani recalled how Camila was famous for her talk about how she was so amazing, and almost got beat up for it. Camila glared at her reminding her it was her that almost beat her up. Ally said a few things that Lauren spoke about them to her, all the girls feigning offence to what she spilled. Yet sadness was tugging away at Camila's heart. Lauren. She shouldve of been here, laughing along with them. She never realized how much she loved her laugh until now. She never realized how much this was taking a toll at her. She couldnt show weakness. She had to be strong. She had to forget. She had to move on. "Guys, I have one hour to leave," Camila reminded the girls. Everyone sighed and started to walk towards the airport.

Camila met up with her parents, but they let her have some time with the girls for the last time. Ally was soon found wrapping her arms around her, a tear being let out. "I know ive just met you, but it feels like ive known you forever. Ill miss you so much Mila," Ally told her, Camila squeezing her arm. "Ill miss you too Ally," Camila smiled at the shorter girl. "The same goes for me Mila, ill miss you so much. Youre like my little sister. Im gonna miss your lame ass humor," Normani says with a slight giggle. "Shut up, ill miss you too Mani," Camila chuckled. Then, it was Dinahs turn. "Hoi Chancho, you better come back and visit me or ill track you down in Mexico," Camila laughed at Dinahs threat. "Im serious Mila, im going to miss you so much," Dinah hugged her tightly. "Ill miss you too Dinah, ill make sure to visit." Camila handed Dinah a letter she had wrote overnight to give to Lauren. "Can you give this to Lauren? Please?" Camila asked hesitantly. Dinah looked reluctant, but nodded anyways. Camila grew sad at remembering that Lauren wasnt here to tell her goodbye. She felt like it wasnt supposed to be like this. She realized that the girls were crying. A pang of hurt shot throught her heart. "Its not goodbye guys. Goodbyes are too sad. It makes me sound like im dying," she joked. "So ill just say something that I prefer saying." The girls looked at her confused. "See you guys later, yeah?" Camila said with a smile, on her way to board her flight.

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Dinah arrived at Lauren's house, Camila's letter firmly held in her hand. She knocked on Lauren's door, it was immediately opened. She wasnt met by Lauren though, it was her mother Clara. "Hello Dinah, are you here to see Lauren?" Dinah nodded. "Shes upstairs in her room, do me a favor would you?" Dinah looked at Clara questioningly. "Cheer her up please?" Dinah nodded hesitantly, she couldnt guarantee to Clara her own daughter's happiness. She walked up to Laurens room, spotting the green eyed girl sitting up on her bed. Lauren glanced at the Polynesian girl, "What are you doing here? Arent you supposed to be at the airport saying goodbye to Camila?" Dinah flinched at the sight of Lauren's face. Her skin tone was paler that usual, and there were dark bags under her eyes. Her normally bright eyes looked dull and colorless, almost as if they lost all will to show life. "Camila left already, Laur. She was sad that you werent there." Lauren let out a laugh. It scared Dinah to see Lauren in this state. "I couldnt give a crap, even if I wanted to." In reality, Lauren still loved Camila so much, it was eating away at her. "She was crying for an hour Lauren," Dinah hissed growing upset at how her friend was acting. "You shouldve told her to cry me a river," Lauren snarled. That was it. Dinah was furious at the way the older girl was being. She threw the letter across the bed infront of Lauren. "Here. She gave me this letter to give to you before she left. Read it when you stop acting like such a bitch," Dinah scowled at Lauren, leaving her shocked. Laureh huffed at the sound of her bedroom door slamming shut. She told herself she didnt care. She glanced over to the folded paper, pondering whether she should read it or not. Lauren shrugged and decided she had nothing else better to do. She unfolded the paper recognizing Camila's messy handwriting. Lauren had grown to love her unique writing, but told herself she had to despise everything about Camila now.

"Hey Lauren,
That sounds weird doesnt it? Because I just came back from a huge fight we had. Im so sorry Lauren. Im so, incredibly, deeply sorry. Sorry that im such a coward, sorry that I couldnt learn to love you. I know you hate me. Ill live with that burden forever. All I can hope is that someday ill see you again, and we'd be able to start over. I dont think ill ever be able to replace you. You fill in this void inside my heart, and it will never be completely filled until we're together again. Ill miss you so much. Ill miss your warmth, your eyes, your words, your laugh, everything. Ill miss all of you. I hope one day youll forgive me. Ive been a huge bitch. Ill make it up to you, somehow, I promise. For now, ill have to accept that I fucked up. Whats keeping me going is the thought that someday I might have the chance to make it all up to you. I cant bring myself to say goodbye, so ill come out with a different approach.
See you soon Lauren.
-Forever, Camz."

Lauren didnt realize that there was tears rushing down her cheeks. As much as she wanted to hate Camila, she was touched by her letter. She wiped her tears away rapidly, folding the paper back the way it was and hiding it away somewhere where it would be safe. She laid back down on her bed, growing tired from all the events that happened today. Deep down, she hoped Camila would keep her promise.