Nothing and Everything

Chapter 14

-Thursday, 1 day left-

Camila was to leave tomorrow night. Deep inside of her, she already wanted to leave. Only because she was afraid to tell Lauren everything she didn't deserve. School was done. Her dance practice was over. There was no going back now. She had to do it. There was no way she could keep it to herself and just leave Lauren wondering where they stood. Camila was selfish. She wanted Lauren all for herself, she admits it. She feared that someone that didnt deserve Lauren would end up with her. Then, she realized not even she derved Lauren. She walked on the sidewalk, on her way to where she might faint. She silently thanked whoever was listening that the way to Lauren's house wasnt too far from her own. Camila kept on walking until she felt her phone vibrate. She turned it on to see she got a message from Ally.

From - Saint Ally

I saw that you were nervous in dance practice, don't worry Mila, Lauren will understand

Camila sighed realizing she wasnt as good at hiding her anxiety as she thought.

To - Saint Ally

Im going to her house right now

From - Saint Ally

Goodluck Mila !

Camila realized she was about four houses away from Lauren's house, her pace becoming slower. She really wasn't looking forward to this. She wasn't any good at letting out her feelings, she never was. It was rare when she let out what she was thinking. She knocked on Lauren's door, slightly hoping she wasn't home. After nobody answered, Camila turned around. "Well nobody's home guess I'm gonna have to tell All-" "Camila?" Camila's eyes widened realizing Lauren was in fact home. She turned back towards the entrance with an awkward smile plastered on her face. "Hey Laurrreen." Lauren didn't look as pleased. She was most likely upset that Camila grew so distant. "Come in," Lauren says almost hesitantly. They walked towards Lauren's room and sat on her bed. Camila let herself observe the room no matter how much she's seen this place before. She took in the variety of posters and books. She saw paintings Lauren did herself and couldn't help but admire the girl's talent. Lauren cleared her throat and Camila remembered why she was here in the first place. "Oh right, anyways I came to tal-" "Oh now you want to talk? You've been ignoring me for the past few days and you're leaving tomorrow!" Camila winced, she could recognize the hint of hurt in Lauren's tone and couldn't help but feel guilty. "I'm sorry about that Lolo, I've just been thinking. That's actually what I'm here for." "What were you thinking about?" Lauren said unsure if she wanted to know. "Us," Camila let out reluctantly. A hint of nervousness appeared on Lauren's eyes, but she still acted strong. "Enlighten me then," Lauren urged her to talk. Camila let out a deep sigh, thinking about what she would say. She had to be careful, she didn't want Lauren to be angry at her. "So, if I recall, Dinah was the one who told me about your little  crush on me. Id be lying if I said I wasn't surprised. I've never thought in a million years you'd think of me in a romantic way. I knew I treated you differently than anyone ive ever met, so that's why I decided to give this little thing a shot. I started growing stronger feelings for you, so I panicked. I wasn't used to it. Ive never been in love with anyone in my life, I didn't know what love was. I knew I was going to end up hurting you, because im that person to fuck everything up, so I thought that I should grow distant from you to stop these feelings  I guess. And im here to tell you that I just need this to stop. I don't want to get you any deeper into this," Camila could barely look up at Lauren after her little confession. She gazed towards her face, shock was clearly evident on her face. Camila braced herself for what she knew was coming. "So that's it?" Lauren suddenly blurted out. "Huh?" Camila said confused. "That's it? You're just running away from this like a coward?" Lauren basically snarled at Camila. "Its what I've been doing all these years," Camila snapped back. "This is different! You're running away from your feelings!" Laurens voice was growing louder. Camila winced as she realized Lauren was angry at her. "Listen Lauren, I came here to tell you the truth and what I wanted, and that's what I did. I'm sorry if you don't like it," Camila calmly told Lauren, surprised at how calm she was. "Are you really so scared of falling in love that you're doing this?!" Lauren practically yelped at Camila, tears started to form on her face. Out of nowhere, Camila got a sudden adrenaline. "I've never loved you, and I never will." With that, Camila left.

After Camila left, Lauren was left sobbing. She sobbed for hours. She just lost her best friend, the one she loved. She couldn't help but wander off towards her shelf, grabbing the familiar utensil. She watched as it glistened, haven't been used in a while. She quickly placed as many lines on her arm as she could with the blade. She stared blankly as she watched the blood start to appear and build up. Her tears stopped coming, as she was given something else to pay attention to. She had been clean for  almost a month, that was thrown away sooner than expected. She wiped away the blood and washed away the dried blood left on her arm. Her 'wounds' were healing rather quickly. She knew one of the girls was bound to notice the new scars, and her therapist would give her a sad disappointed look and tell her, "You were doing so well." Lauren gritted her teeth at the thought. She had been letting down people all her life. She was tired of it. Now, Camila had proven her right. Lauren was worthless. She gazed up towards her mirror. She saw a familiar face she remembered all too well. Suddenly, the same raspy vile voice she heard in her dream appeared in her head, "I told you id come back."