As it was

Chapter 10

I think my teachers noticed and called her to tell her. I didn't want to bother prince with all my problems because it seemed like he had his own issues. I cut the call then I take a good 2 hour nap. I wake up when it's dark and mom still isn't home, she's been out a lot nowadays. I wouldn't worry about her though. I drink some water and get myself something to eat because it looked like if I didn't I would just die here. Mom comes a few minutes later. We catch up and then I get myself ready for bed again. I was listening to music then suddenly my phone started ringing, at first I thought it was prince but it was already 10 and prince never stays up that late unless it's an emergency. I thought it was willow for a second because she loves giving me random calls. I checked my phone to see that Jaden was calling me. I thought 10 times before picking up that call, I was literally shaking, I felt the same way I felt when I was at school today. I wait for him to speak first. "Hi Susari" he said. I honestly do not understand why he calls me by my last name. "Hey" I said in a weak voice. "How have you been, you don't reply to my texts anymore" how dare he says that I don't reply. I try my best to keep my calm. "Jaden I'm not your personal toy where you can talk to me when you feel like it and when you have someone else to entertain me you ditch me" I said angrily. "That's not the case.....augh I was the last one to call and text and I didn't want it to look like I was desperate" he told me. "Desperate? Really? Are you being for real now? You can't even lie with a straight face" I said. "What do you mean Aliyah? Stop acting like you're this confused person who doesn't know what I'm talking about. You clearly understand every word I'm saying. Can't you just leave me alone?" I said with tears running down my chin. "Wow okay its fine. I try talking to you and this is how you speak? Okay bet" he said. " stop acting like the victim who hasn't done anything because we both know you've done a lot of things during these 2 years" " you don't have to keep on lying to people that you love them just so that you're not lonely, that's bad. I expected better from you" I continued. "I do love you... and I know I've done a lot to you and I'm really sorry" he said with a weak voice. "No you don't. Let's not lie to each other. You always do this and your sorrys are now becoming excuses. Saying sorry and fake I love you's will not do anything to me anymore. You loved the fact that I loved you nothing more." "You're a bad person and I wish I had noticed sooner in fact I wish I never met you" I said. There was a moment of silence for about 5 minutes. "I know I've done you wrong, and whatever I'm going through shouldn't be an excuse for everything I've done to you" he said with a breaking voice. I notice that he's crying and at this point I don't know what to do because if he really crying or he's just pretending. Whatever it was I decided to comfort him. "You know it was entirely your fault, it can never be only one person's fault but you make decisions that affect me and most of the times they affect me in a negative way" I say to him after a while. After that we talk for a while and I tell him about what's been going on with me and he listens while playing his video games. For a moment it felt like old times when we were still in a non-complicated thing. Just for a split second I felt good again and then I remembered that nothing can go back to the way it was. Being with Jaden made forget all my problems. I would eat when I'm with him, I've never told him about my eating problem but I think he noticed. I would always eat whenever I was with him. I ate on the call and I didn't even realize it. That's one super power Jaden has, making me forget all my problems. Suddenly reality hit me. "Why are we like this" I said. He reaches out to his phone and puts it closer to his ear. "I'm not sure too, but if the world would be a perfect place then what would be the meaning of living" he said. "But we can't do this anymore Jaden, it's sickening and tiring" "I can't and won't let you break my heart again, I've been damaged too many times by you" I cried. I think it also hit him too because he didn't say anything after that.  I later on say "you don't know what you want and even if you did I know it wouldn't be me". "Aliyah" he says. "I think it's time we both stop this on and off game" "I love you so much" I cry. "I love you so much that I'm willing to let you go" I say again. Before he says anything I hang up. Honestly speaking that was a really mature decision of mine, the girl I was last year would never let him go especially when it came to this specific boy. I don't want to go back to thinking "what does she have that I don't" whenever he replaced me with other girls. I won't lie it hurt a lot but it's for the better. I lay on my bed with the lights off and start crying.