As it was

Chapter 15

During prep I go to the library, I spend most of my time there. I find nick there which isn't shocking because he mentioned that he likes reading. "Heyy are you following me again Aliyah" he said handing me a sit. "You wish" I replied. Nick reads me some of his favorite quotes, and just like that time went by so fast. "Let's walk home together today" he said. "Sure". We walk home and from then we've been spending so much time together. He's in a senior class so going to his class to hang out with him and his friends gives me anxiety but they are all really nice.  I've noticed that most of the girls at school like nick and I find it very stupid because they only like him because of his looks unlike me I really love his personality and how funny he is. Shit did I say I like him? I don't know if I do. We've only kissed once. Wait twice. But it doesn't mean anything right because he hasn't said anything about it. The week goes by very fast and the next thing I know it's Friday. I didn't spend break with nick, I was too busy studying for a test. While I was packing my books a bunch of girls came to me to tell me that nick and his friends were playing truth or dare and nick was dared to kiss some random grade 9. For some reason I felt so pissed. I didn't even talk to him after school. I went straight home, I don't even understand why I'm so upset.

Nick Evans
Where are we going tn😹                   10:56 p.m

Of course I don't reply to his message and then I get another one.

Nick Evans
Are you mad at me or something?      11:01 p.m. 

Nick Evans
I'm coming over.                                    11: 12 p.m.

He wouldn't dare. I was getting ready for bed when I heard a knock on my window. It was nick. "Wtf are you doing here" I said. "You seemed upset with me for whatever reason so I needed to find out" he said in a weak voice. "I'm not, it's your life you can do whatever pleases you" I said.  "Tf. you talking about Aliyah? Be specific" he said. "Did you kiss someone today?" I asked. "What? Yeah but it was truth or dare" he replied. "It's okay then you can go back home" I said angrily. "Why you so pissed, you know I like you" he said getting inside my bedroom. "No I don't nick, you can't like someone and kiss another person" I said. I don't know how to feel honestly. "Aliyah I do like you, a lot, I thought that was already established" he said holding my hand. "It was stupid of me to do that dare I'm sorry" he continues. "Can you forgive me"? I don't know how I always find myself in such messed up situations like wtf. Later on we lay on my bed and watch a movie. We both fall asleep and something wakes us both up at 02 a.m. nick goes home and gives me another kiss. I don't know to feel, I think I like him. I text prince but of course he's sleeping. I don't bother switch off the TV, I fell asleep. I kept on overthinking because nick is perfect. Too perfect. He shouldn't be with an imperfect person like me. What's wrong with me? I should be happy. I push those thoughts away and try to sleep. The next morning I wake up with the thought of never liking Jaden again. It feels weird to me, after all this time, I finally like someone else but of course not the same way I did with Jaden. I mean my feelings for him haven't gone away, they will never!. I lay on my bed feeling guilty for some reason, I'm not sure why. I don't like thinking of Jaden but somehow I always find myself thinking of him, I wonder if he thinks about me the same way I think of him. He probably doesn't, he hasn't even tried calling me, I don't want to sound ungrateful but this is a new feeling to me. For these past 2 years I've only really liked Jaden and now I like someone else? It's weird. I think I just need some time to process this. I spend the rest of my day listening to music. I check my phone after a few hours just to see a missed call from prince, a message from nick and 13 voice notes from Naya. With all the shit that has been going on I hadn't realized that I miss willow. I text her to check up on her, I realize that I'll regret this much later but at the moment I don't care. The whole day I decide to stay away from nick, I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm scared to love someone the way I love Jaden and the worst part is that I don't want to love anyone like I love him. I like the fact that Jaden can always have that tittle and no one else can. Later on nick comes over and I'm filled with mixed emotions, I don't want to break something I like because I'm still waiting for Jaden to come back.  I know he'll come back maybe that's why I'm like this. I have to remove that mindset from my brain. "Heyy, I don't want to sound clingy or anything but you didn't text me back" nick jokes. I shouldn't be thinking about this too much, I should just enjoy the moment. "Sorry I've been busy with school work" I tell him. We spend about 30 minutes together before he goes back home. Things are actually going well, why I always expect things to go wrong. I should stop. This weekend passes fast and so does the next few weeks.