Lalisa Love Me (HunLisa Fanfiction)

28: QUITTERS

28: QUITTERS
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L I S A

"Why don't you just use me again? Tell Sehun that we are still together and you can't love him anymore because you are in love with me.."

I immediately shook my head at Bambam's silly suggestions.

I heard him chuckle. "Why? You can't hurt him the second time around?"

"I don't want to use you." I answered. "And lying won't solve anything."

I already lied before, that I don't love Oh Sehun anymore and I found someone else.. but where did that brought me? Nowhere. I am stuck and I never got a chance to move on because the guilt of lying and the constant push and pull from my lingering regrets that I always disregard are haunting me most of the time.

"Why don't you just let go of all the things that are chaining you?" Bambam suddenly asked. "Why don't you just accept his love because we know damn well that you still love him back?"

I arched a brow at him. What's with him?

I called him because he is my best friend. Out of all the people I have here now, he was the one who knows about me and Sehun ever since from the very beginning. He witness us getting back together and he witness us falling apart.

Ever since I broke up with Sehun, Bambam was always there to comfort me. To be with me to make sure that I can get home okay whenever I want to get drunk.

He was always all ears whenever I rant on my feelings.

This is the first time that I saw him this way.. as if he, himself is heartbroken. As if he, himself wants to get drunk wasted by all the pain that he is feeling.

Come to think of it.. why am I the only one opening up to him every time we met?

"Hey.. Bam.." I called. "Do you have any problem? You know you can always talk to me, right? I'm here to listen and give advice like you do to me."

This is the first time that I asked him this. I feel like a bad friend for only noticing now.. he looks so devastated. As if all the restraints that he put on himself just shattered right now, in front of me.

Bambam's adam's apple bobbed up and down, indicating that he is nervous. His eyes became solemn. "I want to be honest with my feelings, Lisa."

I nodded. "You can be honest. Do what you want to do."

I want to support and comfort him the way he do to me. Bambam is my best friend, he is like my sibling. Like my other members. I want to always encourage him and cheer him up whenever he is down like this!

I was caught off-guard when his right hand caressed my left cheek. Our eyes met. "If I became honest with you now, will you also be honest with your feelings? Will you also do what you want? Will you let yourself be happy and free?"

I don't know how to answer that.

I stayed silent as I stared back at Bambam's face, he has a small smile plastered on his lips but his eyes reflected sadness. "I want to have a chance.. I wish I could hope but I know I'll just make a fool out of myself."

My brows furrowed as he shook his head. He looked down as he bit his lower lip.  "I.. I like you, Lisa."

"Like.. as in as a bestfriend? As a.. sister? Right, Bambam?"

No.. please.. not as a..

"As a woman. I like you romantically.. Lalisa."

"Why?" I feel like I want to smack my own head for asking that question!