Faster We Run (Layne Staley! - Alice in Chains X OFC) OC

Don't Follow

WARNING 18+ READERS ONLY- SMUT AND MENTION OF DRUG USE.

The next few years had its ups and downs, but as time went on, Layne's addiction became worse.

He had OD'd a few more times and been in and out of rehab. Rehabilitation didn't work for him, at least not in the facility. Heroin was a difficult drug to understand and the more he used it, the less likely the chances were of him being able to stop as he became somewhat dependent on it. He didn't really eat much, but the drug suppresses the appetite in some people, so I guess that's why.

By the time it came around to writing and recording for the new self-titled album Alice in Chains were going to put out, Layne was in the throes of his addiction. It was visible in his demeanor and the way he spoke that he wasn't himself.
He would be late to recording sessions, sometimes nodding off on the sofa they had at the Bad Animals studio.

During this time we were on and off in our relationship. I still loved him but it was a challenge, worse than it was before, and he was quite happy shooting that stuff up in front of me even though I hated it, and he knew.
I would walk out several times as it became difficult for me to talk to him in that state and when I did he would come out with a sarcastic comment, which is fine, but considering the situation, it broke my heart.

I had to try and stop myself from being with him because seeing him go through this and the pain he caused himself mentally and physically, was heavy on my shoulders too. I knew I would crash from burn out as I sort of became his carer and house keeper all in one.

I told Layne we needed to pay for the top treatment and every reply was the same. "What's the point? I'll die anyway." That hurt. The fact he'd given in to this thought, despite my reminders of our goals to find a house together and to start a family. Something I had come to terms with that I'd never have because of his deteriorating health.

Several times I'd attempted taking too many painkillers in the hope that it would end the pain I felt.

Luckily the first time I did that, Mike McCready found me in the Pearl Jam HQ bathroom passed out with a pot of pills. He took me to the hospital and I had my stomach pumped to rid my system of the excessive chemicals.

The second time, I had collapsed in my apartment and became conscious a few hours later.

I haven't tried anything since, but it hurts knowing that Layne won't be the same, that he refuses help and that our goals with each other seem unobtainable.

We haven't had sex in months. When we try, he has no energy and he found it difficult to get aroused because of the heroin. It was destroying him.

I don't want to leave him. I love him. But I have been sick with worry about Layne, thinking every morning I wake up in my apartment, I'm gonna get a call saying he's gone.
I'm thinking about staging an intervention to get him to the top Rehabilitation clinic in the area, however it would be difficult as he doesn't want it. It's a grey area as I don't want to force him into treatment, but I don't want him to die either.

By the time the MTV Unplugged show came around in 1996, Layne and I were more loved up and he told me for real this time that after the show, he would seek treatment for his addiction once and for all, and I gave him an ultimatum. If he didn't take it seriously or if he didn't try, I would leave.

Admittedly it would be more than difficult to do so, but I'd have to stick by my guns. It doesn't mean I wouldn't check in on him, but it just means I can get my head straight.

A few weeks after the unplugged show, Layne was seeing one of the top therapists and it had been going so well.

We actually talked about music and art for the first time in months and we made love. It was so good to see him clean and working on himself and we started to look for houses in the area.