𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐥𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 ↯ 𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐑

𝐋𝐈𝐈

𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐥 𝟑𝐫𝐝, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎
~
austin's pov

lillian broke me when she broke up with me. i've barely been able to focus on work or anything at all. i can't even say her name with tears coming to my eyes.

but i can't blame her, i understand her pain. and i'm willing to give her time.

she wasn't lying when she said she'd only be focusing on the movie.

other than for work she never leaves her hotel, she never takes a brand deals, modeling gigs or photoshoots. she never posts anything.

i've talked to lily-rose and mads and they've heard nothing from her at all either. i didn't tell them we broke up. it'd be too much.

we didn't confirm our break up at all actually, but the media is speculating since we haven't posted each other at all. thankfully, we didn't unfollow each other and all of our posts about one another are still up

but people still speculate, that's how things work. personally though i'm doing horribly.

i understand why she left and i'm glad she did if that means it's better for her. i love her and want the best for her.

but is it selfish to feel so terrible about it?

i miss her so much and having to act romantically along side her isn't helping.

and what really isn't helping is having to film our break up scene today.

⚘

"action!"

i wait for the sound of a jewelry box being placed into a small valise before i wake up.

when i do, i act groggy, discombobulated.

lillian, or priscilla for this scene is clearly agitated as she packs.

"what the hell are you doing?"

she closes the valise and, without looking up she says "i'm leaving."

"what time is it?" i ask her.

"i wanted to wait for you to wake up so we could talk about it, but you're never awake and you don't like to talk, so I'm leaving."

"what do you mean leaving?" i ask as i pull myself out of bed.

"i'm leaving this marriage, and i'm taking lisa with me," she replies.

i try my best to act suddenly alarmed and defensive as i follow her towards the en suite bathroom. "what is this about?" i question "is this about..." i wave my hand around as i look for the right word "what happens on the road? you know that means nothing to me."

i follow her as she grabs her makeup off the vanity.

"you think i care about the girls you sneak in through the side door?" she stops and looks down at the myriad bottles of medication and then she starts throwing them at me. "it's this..." she throws another "and this," and another "and this, and this," and two more. "and those has-been leeches sucking you dry. you're strung out!" she shouts.

"strung out? it's my medicine. i'm in the best shape of my life!" i shout back.

"the best shape of your life? the only time you're alive is when you're on stage and in between, you're a ghost. we can't keep waiting around for you like one of your boys," she heads into the hall, as i chase after her.

"i've given you everything you could want."

as she descends down the stairs, she turns to me. she begins pointing at her chest, "what i want is a husband. i am your wife," she says and then repeats it more emotionally "i am your wife. lisa is your daughter, and she needs a father." she sighs and pauses before speaking again and i can hear the tears in her voice. "do you remember the last time that we laughed together?" she asks shakily. "do you remember the last time that the three of us sat down and had dinner together?" she continues. "you won't even make love to me anymore," she cries. "i gave you my life, and i have nothing left in me to give you."

"i've lost you," i say.

she shakes her head "we lost you a long time ago."

i look down before whispering, "cilla, do you still love me?"

she contains her sobs as we stare at each other for a few deafening moments.

when i don't hear her answer, i slowly sit on the stairs and as she covers her mouth, looking at the door.

i exhale and whisper, "when you're forty and i'm fifty we'll be back together, you'll see."

she drops her bag and walks over to where i'm sitting on the stairs.

she stands in front of me and i immediately wrap my arms around her upper thighs, and she rests her hands at the back of my neck.

i sob into her chest as she strokes my hair, my hands cling onto her back, gripping her shirt.

"i have to go," she whispers before leaning down so we're face to face.

"will you please stay?" i beg. this is the first time she looks me in the eye since we broke up and i can feel that my tears are real.

i wonder if hers are too.

"i have to go. okay? if i stay, i'll never leave." she holds into my face as she kisses all over me all over it, my forehead, my cheek, my nose. everything except my lips.

"no. please," i whimper as she begins to stand up.

"let me go."

"no please, priscilla," i plead.

"you have to let me go."

i release her from my grip and i watch as she walks away, grabbing her bag before she's out of the door.

"cut!" baz yells. lillian walks through the door again and over to baz as i do as well. "that was amazing. it feel so genuine, almost as if it was real."

lillian nods "thanks."

"this scene is definitely a one time filming thing," he says "i feel if we film it again it won't be as genuine as it was now."

"we tried our best," i say.

"well your best was perfection."

⚘
bunny's corner

i'm reading the comments from last chapter & im so sorry guys 😭😭

things will get better i promise

or will they 😏