Changing With The Tides (A TommyInnit Au)

Chapter 14: Wilbur's POV

Wilbur's POV

I can't lie and say me and Techno, or really anyone besides Phil and Kristen, have really tried to spend too much time with Tommy. It's not like I don't want him to be here and to be safe, but I never got an explanation, and as far as I know, neither did Phil or Kristen. Basically, he just showed up, and as excited as I first was to see him again, he just isn't the same. Every day, he rushes up to his room as quickly as possible, and he's been avoiding us. He never stays for a full dinner, and he spends most of his time locked in his room, alone. I wish things could go back to how they used to be, but as far as I can tell, they won't be back anytime soon.

Techno and I have had a lot of late night conversations about Tommy. I want to accept the kid, I want to get close to him again, but between streaming and making content, I barely see him. He somehow finds a way to sneak out every day to who knows where, and immediately after dinner, he goes up to his room to sleep. I can't tell what's wrong, but it almost seems like he doesn't trust us.

I know it might seem stupid, like yeah, be mad at the kid who probably has some kind of trauma from the orphanage, but a messed up part of me just can't get over the fact that he never called, and that he isn't even making an effort to get to know us again. If anything, it seems like he's trying to avoid us. I know this may sound mean or arrogant, but it isn't my job to get to know him again. It's his job to get to know us. I know it wasn't in his control, but he's the one who left. If he wants to be friends with all of us again, he needs to make an effort to get to know us.

At the same time, I hate knowing that my little brother is so close to me, and yet we haven't spoken more than a few sentences to each other. It's been almost three weeks since he moved in, and if anything, it's getting worse. He is constantly away, whether he be at the Tubnet house, or just out on his own. Not only that, he doesn't seem excited to eat dinner with the rest of us, and he is almost always the first one to leave the table. I just don't know what to do. I guess that's why I might have been a little hard on the kid...

I was downstairs pretty late, probably close to one or two in the morning. I was kind of stressed from a pretty big recording I did recently, and I couldn't sleep, so I went downstairs to lay on the couch for a bit. After a while, I heard a quiet thump, and I decided to investigate.

I walked towards the noise and saw a figure in the darkness. It was too dark to tell who it was, though in hindsight, it was pretty obviously too tall and lanky to be Phil or Techno, and they definitely didn't have long hair like Kristen. Anyway, I grabbed their arm, just to scare them, and they just froze, like a statue. Then, they yanked their hand away, like I had the plague or something. I turned them around, and that's when I saw it was Tommy. This is where I was stupid. Instead of noticing the dazed look in his eyes, I let my emotions take over. It was late, and I shouldn't have been up to begin with, but something about this particular encounter triggered me, and I started saying things, things I probably shouldn't have. I think I might have said something about him not trying to get along with us, and how if he really didn't want to live with us, he could always go back to the orphanage. Also, something about his parents, and about his past foster homes. I know, shoot me. It was stupid. Idiotic. I'm a fucking moron. But that doesn't change what I said. And by the time I finished, he was already fucking out of it. His eyes were wild and panicked, and it didn't even seem like he could see me. He was gasping for breath, and grabbing at his throat, and I didn't know what to do. I had never seen someone panic like that before, especially not over someone grabbing their arm. But of course, I denied the fact that I caused the panic attack. So instead of telling the truth, I ran upstairs and told the rest of the house that Tommy had a really bad panic attack and that I had no idea what triggered it. Again, stupid, idiotic. I should have just told the truth. But I didn't and it was too late to change my actions. Then, Phil and Techno grabbed his arms and legs and carried him out to the car, where Kristen was waiting. And we were whisked away to the hospital. At that point, I wasn't even sure if Tommy was breathing at all. He was lying, limp and lifeless, his eyes closed, his mouth open.

As dumb as it sounds, I didn't regret my actions. I thought it was his own fault, that he needed to toughen up, that he was trying to guilt trip me into letting him off the hook. Again, I wasn't thinking straight. It doesn't excuse my actions, but I was completely out of it. That is, until I saw him hooked up to all the wires and tubes, the oxygen mask covering most of his face as he lay completely lifeless on the table. Then, I started to realise what had happened. What I had caused. And that was the moment that I started to feel guilty. Now, almost three hours later, he still hasn't woken up. The doctors said he might go into a coma for a while, and I don't know what would happen if we lost him. I know we weren't that close anymore, but I can't shake the feelings of guilt. The moments replay in my mind, over and over and over again, and I can't stop thinking about it. If he doesn't wake up soon, I think I might go crazy.

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Honestly, I love writing little diary type things like this. I think it's so fun, like a completely different view on whatever's happening in the plot, especially since it's a main character. But anyways, Happy New Years!  I know some of you are probably already living in 2023, but I still have almost 7 hours of 2022 left. Next post will be Techno's POV, and then after that will be Purpled. I hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you all next year, yeah? Bye! <3