Whom to love.

31

It’d been a few weeks since I’d been discharged from hospital and I’d been staying at Taehyung’s since.

“Are you sure you’re ready to go back to school today?” Taehyung asked me with a concerned look as I buttoned up my shirt. “Yeah. I have exams coming up, I have to go back. It’d be a waste of even doing A Levels in the first place if I didn’t.” I shrugged. Taehyung and I walked side-by-side into the school grounds.

“Jisoo, I have to go and speak to the tutor about my work placement, but listen, I’m not far if you need me. Text me, ring me, I’ll be there. Okay?”

I giggled slightly. “Stop worrying about me so much. I’m fine. Now go.” I nudged him. He smiled timidly at me as well before heading in the opposite direction.

I was bombed with a hug from Jennie as I walked through the busy school corridors. “Hey! I’ve missed you so much. Are you feeling better? Silly question, you’re probably not.” Jennie rambled.

“No, actually, I’ve been really well looked after for the past few weeks. I’ve stayed with Taehyung. I feel… lucky.” Jennie smiled. “I’m so glad.”

I left Jennie in the corridor and wandered out to the door that led me out to the grass banks at the rear of the school. I sat alone and inhaled the spring air.
“Hey.” I heard a voice from behind me. “Oh, hey.” I smiled.

Lisa dropped her bag beside me and sat down. She pulled a joint from a tin that was tucked inside her pocket and lit it.

“It’s good to see you back.” She grinned. “Here.” She offered the joint to me. I shook my head. “I’m not really smoking at the minute. I don’t think it was doing great things for me.” I explained.

“Oh. Good on you.” Lisa shrugged as she continued to puff.

“Anyway, I only came out for some fresh air. I’m heading to class.” I smiled as I grabbed my bag and stood up. Lisa checked the time on her phone and then raised her eyebrows. “Jesus, Jisoo. This may be the first time you’re on time to a lesson, ever.”
“Yeah, it might just be.”
It may have been the first time I’d been on time to a lesson but I partially regretted it once I actually entered to see that there was only one person stood in the classroom before me.

“Hey.” I tried to hide my awkwardness with a friendly tone, but the truth was I felt completely guilty about my distance. Jungkook looked at me and smiled a disingenuous smile.

“It’s weird for it to be us two who are early for a lesson, right?” I attempted to make conversation.

But Jungkook didn’t even make eye contact before he tried to shove past me and towards the classroom door this time.
“Hey, what’s wrong with you?” I asked him in a harsh tone before he had chance to leave.

Jungkook sighed before speaking, looking like he was ready to go to unspoken issues off his chest. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it.

“Jisoo, I know you were unwell and your mental state wasn’t great, I get that. But why the fuck did I have to be so shut out? Why was Taehyung allowed in when I was pushed away?” He ranted.
I realised I definitely wasn’t ready for this confrontation.

“I… I just couldn’t face you then. I don’t know.” I stammered. “That’s cowardly, Jisoo.” Jungkook’s words were harsh and sparked my anger.
“Christ, that is rich.” I snapped.

“Maybe it is. But tell me why you couldn’t face me. Is it because you have feelings for me?” Jungkook quizzed me despite noticing my discomfort.

“No. It’s not.” I told him, but my words didn’t even convince me.

Jungkook sighed and ran his fingers through his hair with a frustrated look on his face. “Don’t lie to me, Jisoo. Admit it. I did. It’s your turn.”
I felt like I was frozen for a second, like I couldn’t speak, all I could manage was “no.”

Jungkook looked at me with what looked like disappointed for a nanosecond before walking out of the room, and letting the door slam behind him.