Painful Love

Last First Kiss

A/N: this is a very explicit one-shot, there's rape aftermath and a suicide attempt as a consequence of it.

Alec was having a hard time understanding how he had gotten in such situation. All he could think about was the fact that he was getting beaten up by someone yet again. He tried to move away, but the man pushed him to the floor.

He had been going back home, well, Magnus' apartment, when their neighbor next door came out of his apartment and saw him. He was the owner of a store Alec had stolen from a lot, back when he had been homeless. He had recognized Alec and had punched him without a word.

"Fucking asshole!" He heard the man yell at the same time he kicked his side twice.

Alec was trying to move away, trying to get up, but he wouldn't let him. He was starting to realize that he couldn't even move an inch, because he was paralyzed with pure terror. He covered his face and felt his brain disconnect from his body.

It happened sometimes. He didn't know why. It had started with his father's beatings and it had gone on with Caleb's as well. Now it happened every now and then, even if he was not being beaten up.

He could hear his own breath, fast, his heartbeat, also quick. He stopped feeling so much pain. He didn't know that a big part of it was actually pain caused by his mind, the reminder of the beatings he had gotten throughout his life.

Magnus came to his mind. He thought of him. He was kind to him. He always asked him how he was. He prepared his meals because Alec didn't dare to set foot in the kitchen. He took care of him whenever he was sick. Or not sick, just not feeling all right.

He was sweet. He brought him a sense of safety. He helped Alec feel at ease. He always tried not to make Alec uncomfortable. He gave him gifts every now and then, simple things like a small rainbow blanket, or a mug, a bracelet...

Was it that hard to be a decent human being? Why hadn't his father been like that? Alec didn't think being a good person was hard. He was a good person... right? He hoped so. He wasn't so sure sometimes, because if he was not a bad person, why did such things happen to him?

Alec heard something. Everything was going in slow-motion. He heard someone yelling. He didn't like loud noises, let alone screams. He covered his ears, feeling his wet cheek touch the carpeted floor of the corridor in the building of the apartment he and Magnus lived in.

He didn't notice he was trembling extremely hard. He had his eyes fixed in on the small strings on the floor. They were dirty. Was the floor dirty? He would have to shower and scrub it all off his body once he made it home. If he did, of course, because perhaps the man killed him with his beating; that wouldn't be so bad.

The kicks stopped, but Alec didn't process that. He was lost, deep in his thoughts, intensely staring at the strings in front of him. If he counted them all, perhaps he would feel better.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight...

Magnus' fist hit the man's face, moving him off of Alec. Had he not decided to go get Alec from the doctor, he wouldn't have come out of their apartment, just to find their neighbor beating Alec up in the corridor.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" He yelled at the man, pushing him away when he tried to move back close to Alec. "Don't you fucking see he's defenseless on the floor?!"

"He stole from me months ago!" The neighbor screamed back, "At least five fucking times and he still hasn't paid for it!"

"That is no fucking excuse to beat him up! Look at him! You fucking asshole, I'm calling the police..."