Painful Love

End Of The Day

Alec woke up about two hours and a half later. He was tired. He needed some extra minutes to sit up on the bed and remember why he was in bed. He rubbed his eyes, running a hand through his hair afterwards. He had taken his pill, the "rescue" pill. The psychiatrist, the diagnosis, the surprise party and his mental breakdown.

He covered his face, embarrassed. He had told Magnus about the diagnosis. He couldn't believe himself. He had promised himself while going back home that he would never, ever tell his boyfriend, because if he did, he was screwed. He barely knew anything about autism, but his father had always told him a whole bunch of things regarding autism that had made Alec almost lose his mind after the psychiatrist had told him he was autistic.

Now Magnus knew. Alec recalled his boyfriend saying something about it, before he had fallen asleep, passed out in his arms, but he couldn't remember what he had said exactly. He lay back down, pressing his face against the pillow.

Would people still be there if he came out of the room? Had Magnus told all of them what he had said to him? Now everyone would know just how mentally ill he was. Alec buried his face on the pillow, suppressing his anger and frustration. He couldn't cause a scene that would prove that he wasn't normal.

He needed to put a mask on now more than ever. He needed to make sure everyone knew he was all right and normal. He had to come out and see Magnus. He had to see that Magnus hadn't left him because he had had enough of him.

Alec got off the bed, sudden cold because he had been sleeping covered with blankets. His trembling hands were hidden inside his hoodie pocket. He had to be strong and face his boyfriend. And if Magnus was angry at him and decided to take it out on him, Alec would take it like a man, just like his father had taught him to.

He opened the door and heard low chatter. He walked barefoot to the living room, where he found his beautiful boyfriend half sitting on top of the sofa, more like leaning there, as he was speaking to Catarina. Alec could literally feel himself breathe a bit more at ease at the sight of the doctor on the sofa. She had helped him before, maybe she would take care of him if he ended up hurt.

Magnus saw him and he gave him a small smile, but didn't stop talking to Catarina. Alec didn't know how to feel about that, he had never been good at knowing people's intentions, so he stood there, awaiting for another sign that would help him know what to do next.

The cat-eyed man was quick to notice his boyfriend wasn't moving from his place and, while he was listening to his best friend's words, he extended his arm, gesturing at Alec to come. He knew Alec sometimes needed to be told a bit what to do, otherwise he was confused and torn between many options of what to do next, in his head.

Barely even breathing, he walked closer to Magnus, just then noticing Ragnor and Raphael in the kitchen. He reached his boyfriend and stopped breathing at the feeling of Magnus' arm wrapping around his back. He glanced at Catarina and gave her a nervous smile when she muttered something, saying hi to him.

"Now, you're just making me jealous..." she said, watching Magnus kiss his boyfriend's head.

Magnus chuckled, Alec blushed and Catarina smirked, seeing Alec hide a small smile as he instinctively leaned in closer to Magnus, as if he wanted to disappear in his embrace.

"I'll go check on those two."

She left, leaving Alec on the verge hyperventilating once he realized he was now alone with Magnus, who was probably outraged. He didn't dare to look up at him.

"I'm not mad at you, Alexander..." Magnus reminded him. He knew Alec. He had known him for a long time now. It was easy, sometimes, to understand what was going on in his boyfriend's mind judging by the past events. "I'd tell you if I was, I promised you that."