Painful Love

Would've, Could've, Should've

Alec woke up. His forearm hurt. He recognized that feeling. He took a deep breath in, looking around. He was confused for some seconds until he realized where he was. He stretched his arms and legs, feeling his back crack.

He sat up on the sofa. Magnus was sitting on the table, on his laptop with Chairman Meow on his lap. He saw Alec and smiled. He stood up with the cat in his arms and went to the sofa, stroking Alec's hair.

"You look so adorable with your hair like this. It's a beautiful mess." He chuckled, caressing his cheek. "How did you sleep?"

Alec blushed, taking Chairman Meow from Magnus. He liked it when Magnus stroked his hair and his boyfriend was well aware of that.

"B-Better, I-I think."

"I'm happy to hear that." Magnus sighed, walking around the sofa to sit down in front of Alec. "Do you feel up to a conversation regarding, uhm, Caleb?"

Alec's red cheeks turned white. He looked down at their cat. He really wasn't feeling up to it, but who was he to say no to Magnus? He nodded. He'd rather get over with it now, because he knew that if they didn't have the conversation now, they'd have to have it later.

"Okay. It's nothing bad, it's just that I was thinking about something and I think it might involve him." Alec nodded again, carefully breathing. He could feel his anxiety rising. "Do you think you and I met before we, uhm, met in the streets?"

Alec frowned. He shook his head. He would have remembered Magnus for sure, had he met him before. He let himself fall against the sofa, watching Magnus look around, thinking. He looked down at their cat, petting him while he was waiting for his boyfriend to say something.

"Maybe I'm wrong, but I think we did. I don't know why, but I'm getting this feeling that-... it's something weird. I don't remember what exactly, though."

"W-Where would we h-have met?" Alec asked. He wasn't even trying to figure out if he and Magnus had met before, because he simply knew they hadn't.

"I don't know." Magnus responded, honest with both Alec and himself. "It's just that the name Caleb rings a bell and I don't have any friend called that."

Alec shrugged. He really didn't want to think about Caleb. He had just woken up from a nap because he had been drained, after his panic attack; it all came back to him. Magnus knew about Caleb, now. He knew that his father and his ex-boyfriend had abused him. He hadn't kicked him out, though. Was he okay with it?

He knew about the worst periods of his life, why he was messed up and he was still there. He was there, like nothing had happened, trying to figure something out, as if Alec hadn't just told him that he had been abused by the two men in his life who should've been there for him instead.

"God, I hate it when I know something but can't remember it. Hold on." He pulled his phone out, dialing Catarina, his best friend.

Alec had grown quite fond of her. She was a very nice person. He liked nice people. He slid closer to Magnus and lay down with his head on his lap and Chairman Meow in the space between Alec's body and the sofa.

Magnus' hand moved down to Alec's face, silently caressing his skin while he waited for his best friend to pick up the phone.

"Hey, Magnus."

"Hey. I'm just gonna go straight to the point. Does the name Caleb ring a bell?"

"Caleb? Magnus, I meet many new people at the hospital every day. I think I've met many Calebs. Why are you even asking?"

"I, uhm, j-just something related to Alec. Does it seriously not make you feel like you do, or did know a Caleb? I don't know, possibly years ago?"

"Well... What's his surname?"