masochist ˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚ sanzu h. x reader

{26} see you in hell {26}

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マゾ

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<3

— matsuda's pov —

'rindou haitani sentenced to death penalty', it's been all over the news since it's been a long while since death penalty was last sentenced in japan.

it was messing with my head. i know rindou haitani isn't sakura's actual murderer, but what would it do if i said something? he killed other people, but it still kinda bothered me.

the restaurant was shut down since a while too, and i know i'm not going back.

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i stared at my reflection in the mirror while holding up a few piercings - i really hope they didn't overgrow.

i put two rings onto my eyebrows, i've already dyed my hair back to dark red as well.

i slightly raised my shirt up a bit and looked down at my stomach, i've gotten a slight bit more muscular, it was barely noticeable though.

i never thought i'd go back to this, but i don't care anymore. i'm going to kill haoyu, if it's the last thing i do....and it will be the last thing i do.

yihwa would want me to live as long as i can, and i will, but i won't be the same anymore. i changed when i met yihwa, i changed to the better, but now that she's gone... i won't be able to stay the same.

—

i sat down onto the chair and put the phone onto my ear, rindou just looked at me with a surprised face.

"hm, you got a makeover?" i raised a brow at him, a slight smile appeared on his lips. "hah, you look way more serious now! don't worry, i'm not making fun of you, i did the same" "you did the same?" i leaned back. "yea, i used to look way different... it's normal, i think everyone does that when they lose a part of themselves"

he had a smile on his lips the whole time while saying that, as if it was something to be happy about.

"why are you smiling so much? i heard you got death penalty, aren't you supposed to be sad?" "i'm not trying to be depressed in here the whole time, waiting for my death like a loser... i guess i'm just happy because someone decided to pay me a visit"

"so, why did you visit me? i don't know anything about your girlfriend.." "no, i know. i've already found out who actually did it, but i guess i'm just here to talk to you before you die.." his smile got a big brighter, it looked more genuine now. "i see..." his smile faded away and he looked down.

"just in case i've never said it before... i'm really sorry for what happened to your girlfriend, i bet she was a good person.. but, please don't kill yourself"

my eyes widened "huh?...kill myself?" "i know i can't compete, 'my' girl is still alive after all.. even if she's not actually mine, but that's not the point. i barely know you but i wouldn't wanna see you in hell shortly after my execution, because i know none of us is making it to heaven"