masochist ˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚ sanzu h. x reader

{38} step one {38}

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マゾ

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<3

— sanzu's pov —

y/n quickly snapped her leg up to kick me between my legs and throwing me off her.

"get away from me! you ruined my whole life just because you couldn't normally open up to me!" "hey, don't give me that shit, you didn't trust me either!"

"i've had a bad feeling about you the whole time the past days... turns out i was right! you are insane, you need help! what did i even think when i started to date you, i was so dumb!"

"why are you saying all those things...." i was gonna sit myself back up but she quickly pushed me back down to stand up and run right towards the door, but she wasn't fast enough.

i grabbed her neck and pressed her head against a wall.

"so you wanna do it like this, huh? tch... if you don't love me then i'll make you love me, it's too late to leave me now!"

— flashback —

"y/n, you-" "you.. you KIDNAPPED ME!" she pushed me away and attempted to leave the room but once her foot stepped onto the floor she twisted her ankle and fell onto the ground.

she looked down at her leg in bandages with a surprised look on her face.

i kneeled down next to her and gently grabbed her hands "calm down, y/n! i didn't kidnap you and i'm not intending to hurt you, i just brought you here to treat your wounds"

— now —

so we're at this point again...

she stared at me, her eyes looked the same as back then.

...no, it was worse. she didn't look afraid, she looked terrified. she looked as if she despised me.

if only i could change the situation. if only she'd try to understand why i did all this.... why doesn't she understand?

"okay.... y/n i overreacted, let's forget about everything, the kiss, rindou, let's continue this without any problems, alright?"

she was about to speak up but her eyebrows were still tugged down. she was gonna disagree, and i wouldn't let her disagree yet.

my grip around her neck tightened to prevent her from speaking.

"if any of the bonten members were to think you didn't love me anymore and that we broke up... they'd try to get rid of you because they'd think you'll snitch on us.... i don't want that to happen.." i gave her a worried look while talking to her in a rather quiet tone.

whatever she feels for me right now, she will not leave me knowing that it will be the death of her... and even if she does hate me, while she stays with me i'll just make her forgive me and trust me again, and then we'll he happy again.