masochist ˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚ sanzu h. x reader

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マゾ

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(a/n: everything wrote like this is going to refer to a 'deja vu' or a flashback for the whole chapter)

— narrator—

the woman sat on the bench, elbows resting on her thighs while she was crying her whole life out, right into her palms. she's been sitting here for around 10 minutes, those 10 minutes felt like an eternity to her.

she snuck out of the house while her boyfriend was sleeping, she's been lying to him for the past 3 days, she never wanted to lie to him...she always wanted that they could trust each other, but she lied to him this one time just because she was hoping to make up with an old 'friend' before his execution.

now she was sitting here, crying. crying because of something she couldn't even talk about to anyone right now. she drowned in her own thoughts and thought about her past life. she thought about how things would've been different if she confronted her boyfriend for cheating back then, and she started to regret things.

but at the same time she didn't want to regret anything. the only thing she knew she regretted either way is not doing him that favour and visiting him a bit earlier, they didn't have enough time to talk stuff out.

she loved her boyfriend, she didn't think that she still had feelings for rindou. she thought about what her boyfriend had always told her.

he'd always tell her that 'they need to trust each other', and that they only have 'each other', and that's why they should never lie or even leave each other.

'would sanzu have understood if i tried to talk to him about rindou?'

but she knew she couldn't have. rindou had asked her to not say a word, not to anyone...and she didn't want to break that, even after he died.

"i'm sorry, i'm a bit late..."

she froze for a second when she suddenly heard a masculine voice speak up, approaching her. she raised her face out of her palms, her eyes wide while her nose was still twitching.

"what?..who..." she mumbled under her breath, the man slowly took the hoodie off his head and gave her a small smile.

"rindou...."

she felt a warm feeling suddenly releasing inside of her chest when she saw his face, she immediately jumped off the benches and ran towards him.

she threw her head into his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him, rindou was a bit caught off guard by her reacting like this as she started to cry even more into his shoulder.

he slowly pulled her closer into his shoulder and wrapped his arms around her as well while patting the back of the head a bit.

"i thought you died..." she mumbled into his shoulder with a weak voice.

"you were really worried about me?"