this is me trying: taylor swift + joe alwyn

two

"Taylor? Taylor! Taylor baby wake up."

I felt a rush of pain in my head as I started to open my eyes. I grabbed the back of my head and started to sit up.

"What... what happened...?" I asked, looking around the room in attempt to gather my surroundings.

"Sweetie you completely passed out, you fell straight off your chair."

"Oh..."

"Is your head sore? Can you tell me your name?"

"Joe i'm fine... calm down..."

"That's not an answer, what's your name?"

"Taylor..."

"Last name?"

"Hopefully Alwyn soon" I smiled up at Joe and he chuckled at me.

"Alright you're fine." Joe laughed and grabbed my hands to pull me up.

My head started to spin again as I stood up. I quickly grabbed onto Joe to avoid falling over again.

"Woah are you okay...?" Joe asked as he grabbed hold of me to hold me upright.

"I'm... fine..."

"Taylor, you seem... incredibly weak... when was the last time you ate something." Joe looked me right in the eyes as he asked that dreaded question.

I didn't know what to say. I could just lie. Or I could tell him the truth. This could be my chance to finally say out loud that there was something wrong.

And that's what I decided to do.

"Four... days ago..."

Joes eyes widened.

"You haven't eaten anything in four days?!"

I looked at the ground, embarrassed. Joe used his hand to brush my messy hair out of my face. He put his finger under my chin and lifted my face so I was looking at him rather then the ground.

"I... really need the bathroom."

"Do you really? Or are you just avoiding having this conversation?"

No words formed in my mind, I was too weak to come up with any sort of response.

"Sweetheart I know you used to have an eating disorder, is that what this is about? Do you still have it? Is it coming back..?"

I almost stopped breathing. I actually may have for a second. I didn't say a word.

Obviously I was struggling to eat at the moment, but I never considered my eating disorder properly coming back. I had worked so hard to recover. I had gained back all the healthy weight I needed and was doing so well.

I could feel my progress slipping away. Logically, in my mind, I knew Joe was right. It was coming back. And it had hit me a lot harder then I thought it ever could.

"Tay you can tell me. Please I just want to help you." Joe pleaded as he grabbed my hands. I forgot for a second about my wrists, I was so focussed on what I was going say to answer Joe's question.