this is me trying: taylor swift + joe alwyn

thirty one

January 14th, 2024

"Morning love. How long have you been up?" Joe asked, walking into Ollie's bedroom.

"Oh... um-..." I looked up at Joe with tired eyes, it was pretty obvious I hadn't slept.

"You've been up all night... haven't you... and you didn't wake me." Joe frowned as he came over closer to see Ollie.

"I'm sorry... I couldn't sleep. I started getting anxious that he would stop breathing or something so I just watched him for a bit... then I had to feed him, then he had a huge meltdown and wouldn't stop screaming for ages so I brought him in here so that we wouldn't wake you up. Then the only way I could calm him down after trying so many different things was by laying him on my chest... then I didn't want to get up cause he looked so peaceful. And I didn't want to wake you up cause I know you need the sleep-"

"-you need the sleep Taylor. Give me Ollie, go to our room, and go to sleep." Joe said sternly, reaching his arms out to grab Ollie.

"Joe I'm fine. And leave him, he's fast asleep do you really want to wake him up?" I said, slightly leaning away from Joe.

"Taylor. Give me the baby. I'm not letting you invite your mum over until you get at least five hours of sleep." Joe said, again reaching for Ollie.

"What?! That's not fair Joe you can't do that." I complained, looking down at Ollie who was still fast asleep.

"I can. And it's only because I care about you Taylor. If you want to be a good mum for Ollie you need to sleep. You can't function without sleep. You had one three hour nap at the hospital and that's all you've slept in over 48 hours, plus you've been in labour and given birth in that time. You need to give your body time to rest."

I didn't mean to start crying, but these goddamn hormones are insane.

"You're overtired love. Please go sleep for at least a few hours. Then how about we invite your mum over for lunch?"

"Okay.." I nodded, then very slowly and gently lifted Ollie off my chest and placed him in Joe's arms. Thankfully he stayed asleep the whole time.

"I've got him okay? Don't worry about us we'll be just fine." Joe said, looking down at Ollie then back up at me.

I hesitantly nodded, and pushed myself up off the chair. I was still in a lot of pain and it really did hurt to move.

"Goodnight Tay, I love you." Joe gave me a little smile as he used his thumb to wipe some of the tears off my face.

"Two hands-"

"Huh...?" Joe questioned.

"Hold him with two hands. Don't take one hand away." I instructed, moving Joe's hand so that he had two hands holding Ollie.

"Taylor go to sleep, we'll be fine. I promise."Joe reassured me, then gently pushed me out the door.

"Wake me up if you need anyth-" I started before Joe cut me off.

"Like I said Tay, we'll be fine. Go sleep."

Much to my disliking, I left Joe and Ollie in the nursery and climbed into our bed. Knowing Joe was awake with Ollie made me feel a little less anxious about going to sleep, but I'm not too happy that Joe's forcing me, even though I know I need it.

Turns out I was extremely tired, because I felt myself drift off to sleep almost the second I shut my eyes.

......

I woke up to the sound of my baby boy absolutely screaming his little head off. I sat myself up and put my hand on my head, feeling my sudden headache.