This Is Me Trying

Chapter 1: Howl of a Pained Soul

A LOUD shattering clash can be heard inside a room full of dirty and lewd air followed by an audible gasp. The poor framed butterfly painting lies in front of Solis and some pieces are scattered everywhere near her. She is just right there in the door frame with her red furry coat while standing frozen in her spot, looking at Hayland, her husband's figure straddling someone on the couch.

"L-Love!" Startled, Hayland immediately stood up, trembling. His eyes are wide, trying to cover his bareness.

Unknowingly, a series of tears escapes from Solis's eyes but her heart is aching and if anything, she believes it also stops beating. She didn't say a thing. Or maybe she just couldn't open her quaking mouth due to shock as reality snapped her out.

All her nerves were shuddering as she tried to catch her breath. She wanted to scream but she couldn't even move an inch. She heard her heart crack and every brick in her invisible wall was falling apart one by one.

"God!" exclaimed a woman's voice without any hint of remorse as she got up from the couch.

She gracefully swats and dresses up casually. She sighed, rolling her eyes while grabbing her things and she stopped right in front of Solis's disheveled figure. She shakes her head, probably in pity while walking passed her, leaving them behind with a major, major problem.

"Solis, love..." Hayland tried to reach for her but Solis stepped back, shaking her head defiantly.

She feels numb. For their entire marriage, Hayland remains true or that's what she thought so. He never lied to her and she knows how much her husband loves her. She thought it was enough. Or maybe she just overlooked some things because of how good her husband treats her?

Their five years of being husband and wife prove that Hayland is the one but now, she is contemplating. She started questioning it in her pretty head. She couldn't believe what she just saw. She doesn't want to believe it either.

The next thing she knew, she fell on the floor and was sobbing horribly, clutching her head tightly. She looks like a wounded she-wolf howling and begging the moon goddess to get rid of the pain.

Hugging herself, expecting to find comfort there, she started screaming messily. Her throat hurts but her heart is worse. She curled herself, not minding the shards around her. She just cried her heart out, hoping it was all just a dream.

Solis felt her husband's tight embrace around her and she moved quickly, pushing Hayland away as hard as she could. She felt disgusted. "Get away from me, you dickhead!"

"Love..." He attempted again but she snapped at him.

"Move. Away. From. Me!" she ordered, her face soaked with hot and bitter tears.

Hayland can't say a thing after that. He just sat there in front of his wife's vulnerable state. Guilt already coated him upon listening to the howls with pain and pricking needles traveled straight into his system.

He wanted to comfort his pained beloved and even give her a hug but he couldn't. Not when he is the very cause of it. Not when he is the one who shattered her into pieces. Now, he's wide awake and this is his reality.

All throughout their entire marriage, he never saw Solis break like this and it pained him. He couldn't help but endure it all. He did it and the most fearful day of his life really did come unannounced.

"How dare you! How fucking dare you, Hayland?"

Solis, despite her mood swings never shouts at him furiously. She's been so kind and gentle. She always loves to have his attention. She is the clingiest baby he could ever have but not today because Solis yells at him for the very first time in a while.