This Is Me Trying

Chapter 3: Doomed Marriage

SOLIS swallowed hard while she was standing outside the house she once referred to as her safe zone but now, the guards of that house are all but shut down. That house reminds her so much of many memories with her and Hayland.

Now, that memory is tainted with so much pain, bitterness, and disgust. She would be lying if her skin wasn't irked about the image of her husband making out with his woman. Her stomach churned and she wanted to throw up.

She clenched her fists, knuckles were white and tight. She can't imagine Hayland kissing that woman, hugging her, and sleeping with her while he is acting like the good husband in front of her.

The thought of them making love three days before that twisted reality happened, broke her even more. It made her skin itch and it made her head heavier. She barely got sleep and if anything, she did sleep out of exhaustion and from too much crying.

She sighed, hesitating to step closer to their porch. She actually didn't know how to deal with her husband after everything that happened. But their family dinner is coming so she has no choice but to face him even if it is against her will.

The door swung open, revealing the tall and tanned Hayland on the door. The moment he saw his wife a few feet away from him, he automatically ran towards her. "Love... you're back! I missed you so much. Now that I saw you, I'm good as new."

She noticed her husband's dark circles and for Solis, he looked more awful than she thought. Hayland didn't even bother to shave and he looked weary but maybe excited as well to finally see her on their doorstep.

It's been a hell week for her and she badly misses him but Solis discarded that thought quickly. She won't give the man the satisfaction and she will never show any weakness in front of him either. This time, she is thinking about her welfare first.

"Love, welcome home." Hayland ushered her to step inside.

He even smiled cheekily but Solis only looked at him with her icy stares. She just walked passed him without even saying a thing. Hayland silently tails her and even opens the door for her; the usual gentleman that he is.

Solis shakes that thought off. She would be lying if she'd say that she didn't miss her man because she freaking does every single day. Sometimes, she just woke up in the middle of the night and was crying like a mess, and even slept on the right side, Hayland's side to be exact.

She wanted to throw herself towards Hayland but if she did, she would definitely lose her self-respect. Sure thing, she did hold onto her pride but that is all that she has and if she will let her wall fall off that easily, and forgive him like nothing had happened, she will be nothing but a vulnerable heart who tolerates her husband's mistakes just because she loves him.

She hated that she loved him this much and that she longed for him repetitively but then again, reality check, they're not the same as before. Her husband made this all and he must pay for it in atonement.

"Love, you look more gorgeous." Hayland's voice echoed behind her and she felt arms snaked around her waist while a familiar warmth caressed her system, calming her violent seas. "I missed you so much. Please come back to me. I'm sorry."

She shudders, lips quivering in irritation. Hayland is her strength but is also her weakness. She's just grateful that she gathers all her wits to get away from him. If she won't, she's afraid she might enjoy her husband's arms like usual.

Hayland sighed, releasing her immediately. He looks dejected. "Sorry. Just a missing-you reflex."

She stepped away, afraid of something she would expect to happen; one wrong move and she would wrap Hayland in her arms lovingly like she wanted to protect him from the world, but she couldn't because she was too broken.