i want you hyunjin || hyunlix

lies

- felix -

"hyunjin-"  i'm taken aback by how close he is. "i mean, thank you hyunjin." realizing that i'm speaking english, i switch over to korean. "you were incredible tonight and i'm honored that you chose to meet with me." hyunjin's smile widens and a glint appears in his eyes.

     "who says i chose you?" he asks.

     my heart stops in my chest. do the managers pick who the members meet? i didn't know. i wave my hands around to clear away the misunderstanding.

     "oh, oh! i shouldn't have assumed. i'm sorry, i mean-" hyunjin laughs and reaches out a hand to help me stand. i take it, getting to my feet. the physical contact makes my pulse jump and i realize i hadn't thought this far ahead when making the poster.

right when i think hyunjin is about to let go, he clasps his other hand around my arm and pulls me towards him.

"i did choose you," he whispers in my ear. i feel my face heat up. he pulls back to look at me and he must like my body's reaction because he smiles again before releasing me and turning, guiding me into our conference room.

     fluorescent white lighting illuminates gray carpeting, a long wooden table, and black leather chairs with wheels, one on either side of the table. it feels very stiff and official. i take a deep breath to calm my nervousness, moving to face hyunjin who is closing the door behind us. then he turns towards me.

     "how old are you?" he asks, looking me up and down.

     "i'm only a few months younger than you actually. born in september 2000."

     "that's good. and what do you do?"

     "i'm a social media manager for a few different brands."

     "oh? what's that like?"

     "well, i come up with creative ideas for promoting products and then take photos and videos to bring my visions to life. it's also a lot of analyzing the best posting times, hashtags, and audios as well as answering questions from customers," i explain.

     "do you enjoy it?"

     "yes, it's a good job for me. it's challenging, and sometimes i wonder what my life would be like if i pursued my passion for dance instead, but i do like the freedom social media managing allows."

     hyunjin smiles warmly at my response. his face tells me he wants something from me. i quickly continue talking.

"ahh, but i haven't asked you anything yet. uhm, do you like your job?" i blush at how stupid that sounds but thankfully hyunjin doesn't laugh.

      "i like it today," he replies in a soft, low tone, taking a step closer to me. my heart rate jumps.

"what do you mean?" i ask, my fingers itching to reach out and touch him.

"you said i was 'incredible tonight'. what did you mean by that?" hyunjin asks, avoiding my question.

     "well, your dancing and singing were beautiful, and i'm really grateful i was able to watch you perform up close. i could not stop looking at you; you looked just... ridiculously attractive. i mean, you always look great but-" i trail off as he takes another step closer, now only inches away. he's looking at me so intently.

     "and your poster... what did you mean by that?" my heart hammers in my chest and my mind goes blank. i don't know what to say.

     slowly i let my gaze drop to his lips, then back up to meet his.

     "does it mean..." hyunjin's eyes roam to my lips, causing a fluttering feeling in my stomach. "... you want me to kiss you?"

i swallow hard.

slowly, i make eye contact and nod my head.

"yes, hyunjin."

     then my breath hitches as his hands slowly wrap around my hips and pull me to him. bringing one hand to my chin, he tilts my head back a bit and kisses me.

his lips feel soft and full. they pull at mine and cause all of my senses to feel like they are on fire.

     he smells intoxicatingly good, like expensive roses and cedarwood. i stare at the little birthmark under his eye, the one i've admired for so long. i feel so much at once that i can barely move.

hyunjin starts to pull away, misunderstanding my frozen reaction.

without thinking, i grab the front of his shirt with both hands and press my lips into his. hard. my eyes close.

i try to silently convey how much i want him. that i don't want this to end.

i feel surprise pass through his body. but after a moment he starts kissing me again, moving his lips in rhythm with mine. faster than before. more urgently.

our bodies respond to each other; lips meeting again and again. time feels like it slows down around us as we explore the kiss, taking each other in.

     he is soft but rough against me, and it's enough to make me feel like i'm floating. if this is the only kiss we'll get, i desperately want to make it count. i never want to forget this feeling.

his hand slides into the hair at the back of my neck. he grabs it and pulls, causing my mouth to open slightly. i can't help but moan softly as he deepens the kiss, my brain buzzing from how good he feels.

never breaking the kiss, he guides me with one hand in my hair and one on my waist, backing me into the nearest wall. he presses his hips firmly against mine, pinning me.

unclenching my hands from his shirt, i slide them down his torso. when i get to his waistline, i slip my hands under his shirt, feeling his abs against my fingertips. his stomach twitches away from the cold touch but quickly relaxes as he starts kissing me even harder.

"you feel... so... good," hyunjin murmurs between kisses, breath heavy.

"mhm," i hum in return, stroking my small fingers over his abdomen as our lips continue crashing together.

"i've never... done this... before," he murmurs, sliding his hand from my hair to caress my cheek.

"what... kissed a fan?" i tease between kisses.

"yeah. ....yeah..."

suddenly hyunjin pulls away. pushing my arms away from his body. he stumbles back a couple of steps, eyes wide. one of his hands comes up to cover his mouth.

"shit!" he swears. "i can't be doing this. i'm not supposed to. you're a fan, i can't just-" he pauses, still trying to catch his breath. he looks away before continuing.

"i'm so sorry, please forgive me. we can't... i shouldn't have-"

"hyunjin i-" i interrupt, my mind reeling from everything that just happened. i don't know what to say. i feel my emotions come rushing to my face but i'm not about to cry. i can fix this.

just then, there is a knock on the door.

"sorry, time's up," comes the manager's voice.

"you need to go." hyunjin says, not even looking at me. when he doesn't hear me move, he repeats "GO!!" and gestures at the door, upset and angry.

slowly, i start to move towards the door. i watch hyunjin's back the whole time, desperately willing him to look at me once more.

he doesn't. i feel my heart sink as i walk out the door.

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