i want you hyunjin || hyunlix

heaven (seungin)

- jeongin -

is this a date? it feels like one but i can't be sure since i've never gone out with anyone before. it's probably just my years of pining mixed with wishful thinking but i can't help but feel like something is different tonight. sure, seungmin and i have watched movies together before, but they were always spontaneous, usually an afterthought or a group activity. never like this. tonight, seungmin picked out snacks with me in mind and waited like a puppy at the door for me to get here. and the movie choice too? he must have known this is one of my favourites, right?

     the song "a million dreams" is playing on the screen and the young mr. and mrs. barnum are exploring an abandoned house together. i can tell that seungmin is wrapped up in the beautiful scene; his lips are parted slightly and his head is tilted to the side as he listens and watches thoughtfully. i use the opportunity to make my move. standing up, i return the funyun bag to the ottoman and head over to the fridge for some waters. i bring back one for each of us, placing his in front of him and taking a sip of mine. seungmin thanks me quietly, still focused on the scene. perfect. i sit back on the couch, but this time, i only leave about five inches in between us.

i take a shallow breath, worried that any second i might physically combust. but nothing bad happens. instead, seungmin reaches out and pats my leg. it was probably an unconscious gesture but it felt strangely reassuring. i peek at him to try and gauge his thought process. he must have felt my eyes on him because he glances at me too, a soft smile on his face. i look back to the screen quickly, feeling my cheeks grow warm.

five minutes later, during the reprise, seungmin does something i hadn't been expecting. repeating my actions, he takes a sip of his water, returns the bottle to its place on the ottoman, and sits back on the couch. but instead of leaving the small distance between us, he sits so that our legs and shoulders are brushing each other. a breath catches in my throat when i feel the contact.

it's just seungmin. seungmin is my best friend. what am i doing? why do i feel so shy? i feel a strong urge to hit myself on the forehead repeatedly until the thoughts go away but i restrain. i blink hopelessly at the tv, struggling to focus on the movie when he is right there.

he smells so nice. like lavender, vanilla, and musk mixed with something that only seungmin smells like. warm and clean. i want to snuggle up to him and wrap myself in his scent. would that be too weird? the idea of making him confused or uncomfortable makes me lose my nerve.

after long minutes of debate, and feeling like i'm drowning in his presence, i decide that it would be okay to test the waters a bit. maybe i can show him that i like him subtly and then he can make the first move if he feels the same way. i breathe in and out deeply, urging myself to put my plan into action.

on the screen, the circus performers are revealing themselves to the crowd for the very first time. i focus my attention on the tv and the lyrics of "come alive", trying not to think about what i'm about to do.

"little bit of lightnin' strikin'
bottled up to keep on shining"

i slide my hands down my thighs, drying my palms on the fabric of my black sweatpants. then, trying my best to focus on the screen and not draw too much attention to myself, i turn my hand closest to seungmin face up and leave it there. a silent invitation.

"you can prove there's more to you
you cannot be afraid"

a brush of fingertips against my palm makes my eyes widen, but i keep them trained on the screen, not wanting to break this moment. electricity shoots through my body and dances across my skin.

"come alive, come alive
go and light your light
let it burn so bright"

seungmin's fingers find the spaces between mine and he interlocks them, making my heart stutter in my chest. i slowly close my fingers over the back of his hand and he does the same to mine. his hands are warm and strong, nervous but sure.

"reachin' up to the sky
and it's open wide
you're electrified"

i give his hand a grateful squeeze and he squeezes mine back, finally looking over at me. he stares at me nervously, his eyes shaking slightly as he tries to detect my thoughts from my facial expression. he looks exactly how i feel and seeing my fear of ruining the friendship reflected in his eyes tells me that i'm not alone in my feelings.

i feel my lips stretch into a shy smile as heat warms my cheeks. seeing my reaction, seungmin lets out a sigh and returns the smile warmly, the glow of the tv revealing his matching flushed face. i can almost feel the waves of relief rolling off him.

no longer afraid, i let my head sink onto his shoulder, returning my gaze to the movie playing. with my face even closer to him now, his alluring scent is even more noticeable. it feels like heaven to have my head on his shoulder and his perfume filling my senses. all the tension leaves my body, feelings of comfort and safety taking its place.

seungmin relaxes too and after a while, he starts slowly running his thumb up and down my hand soothingly. i feel as if i'm in a dream. how could i possibly be this lucky?

- minho -

i hear the song "from now on" playing from the tv in the living room and decide to investigate. my call ended long ago and i'm bored of the show i started so i guess it's time to join the maknaes on the couch.

...or not. the sight that meets my eyes surprises me and i almost let out a sound. jeongin's head is resting on seungmin's shoulder and seungmin has his head resting on top of his like a pillow. they aren't moving at all, so i quietly creep around the couch to check whether they have fallen asleep or not.

they have. but that wasn't the biggest surprise. my eyes quickly lock on their hands. they are holding each other with their fingers intertwined. this is almost as sappy as me and jisung.

i quickly pull out my phone and snap a picture. they look ridiculously cute. i won't share the photo with anyone until they are ready to tell people. but will i use it as blackmail? the world may never know.

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have a happy halloween lovers! tap the star to wish me one too! 🎃

how do you feel about this chapter? i had fun writing it! i love them so much.

— starlostlovers