The rollercoaster of life

Greif

"Okay DJ you can come in," I say shaky, he opens the door and looks at the pregnancy test sitting on the sink "I have to wait a few minutes," I say and he nods "So...if you are....they're Dante's," he asks and I nod with my hands shaking, "Hey" he clasps my hands together and holds them "If you are we will take care of you. Okay, I will be here for you. It's what he would want" DJ says and I feel calmer and nod "Thank you Dj" I sniffle "DJ I'm scared I don't want to do this without him," I say tears welling in my eyes

"He is always with us. I will make sure everything is okay it's my job as his best friend and right hand," he says patting my head. "Okay," I take a deep breath in "I'm ready," I say and he nods "You look first," I say nudging him to the sink "What happened to being ready" he chuckles "Just look but don't react," I say and he nods "Okay okay" he looks done at the stick and nods "Okay your turn," he says and I feel nervous "Okay," I say clasping my hands together. I slowly walk to the sink feeling like my steps weigh a ton, "Okay" I close my eyes and pick it up, I slowly open my eyes, and the word pregnant appears in my vision "Oh my god" I cover my mouth. "W...what am I gonna do," I ask DJ shaking.

"I can't have a kid. What if I'm not good at being a mother" I say freaking out "Oh my god I have to tell my mom. Oh god, I have to tell Amy" I say my breath becoming shorter. "Hey hey look at me," he says grabbing my shoulders and I get another whiff of his cologne and feel nauseated again "Oh wait back up," I say stepping back and covering my nose. "Right smells are sensitive," he says stepping back.

"Look everything will be okay no matter what I am going to be here....listen we both are still processing what happened with Dante, and you have a lot going on so how about this you go and lay down and I can stay with you until your mom comes back or you fall asleep," he says and I nod. We go back to my room and I climb into bed "Okay you try to sleep I'll be right here" he says sitting at my closet. "Thank you, DJ" I whisper and close my eyes. Soon enough I fall asleep and just fade away.

*Knock knock* "Adenna are you awake" I hear someone say *Knock knock* "Hmm come in" I groan sitting up slowly "Hey love DJ just came by and dropped this off," my mom says peaking in my room, "He said that he hopes it makes you feel better," my mom says placing a gift bag on the end of my bed "I doubt it," I say getting up "What time is it," I ask "It's the morning you slept all of yesterday," my mom says and I look at her shocked "Thanks mom," I say and she nods and leaves my room.

I lay back down and everything comes back to the reality that he's gone and I'm pregnant, and he isn't here to be with me. "Damn it I shouldn't have left you" I sniffle "I love you. You dummy why did you have to leave? Why didn't I pull you with me" I whisper my tears running down my face and onto my pillow.

I look at the gift bag and move the wrapping out of the way, I pull out a sweater and a necklace at the bottom is a little note "This was his. He would've wanted you to have it" I read it and I smile down at the jacket and necklace. I grab the necklace and it's a key shape "You always had a strange taste" I chuckle putting the necklace on. I then grab the jacket it was his leather one the one he always wore when riding with DJ I smile and hold it close it still slightly smells like him and I begin to cry again.

"I miss you so much you dope" I whisper and squeeze the jacket. I grab one of my pillows and my pillow and put the jacket on it like it's him and hold it tightly. "We have a kid together. I wish you were here so I could do this with you" I whisper crying and holding my stomach. And once again I fall asleep crying, wishing that he was here.

One week later
It's been ine week, and for most of that time I have cried myself to sleep, I have been throwing up every day and using Dante's jacket as some type of comfort. DJ took me to my first doctor's appointment and it felt unreal to be there. My mom hasn't been home trying to solve what happened to Dante, and DJ has been doing the same thing just more in a less legal way. Both of them have yet to come up with anything. My mom doesn't like me just staying in my room so I have been going back to school this week but everything is just wrong.

Everyone is coming up to me apologizing, asking if they can do anything. I have felt so lost walking through those halls, and I haven't seen Ryder or Parker since the news the middle school is right across the street and I haven't seen them. Everything has felt so numb and I wish it was all just a bad dream. *knock knock* the sound brings me back from my thoughts, "Hey sweetie. I'm going to work. But could you take this next door" she asks holding a small pan of breakfast casserole. "Sure," I say and slowly get up "Okay I love you kid" she kisses my forehead and I nod "Love you too mom" I whisper and she leaves.

I look down at the casserole "Okay we can do this" I whisper and walk downstairs and outside next door. I knock on the door and wait, "Coming" I hear Ryder say and then the door opens his hair is a mess and he has bags under his eyes. "Oh Adenna," he says surprised "Hey kid," I say and he moves out of the way "Come on in," he says. I walk around inside and the usually tidy house is a mess it looks like someone has tried cleaning but hasn't been the best at it. "I brought you guys some food," I say and see Parker who is dozing off on the couch but looks like he's trying to stay awake. "Parker?" I call to him and he shakes his head and looks at me.

"Oh hi Adenna" he says and waves weakly. I look around and notice that everything is out of place, Ryder and Parker have bags under their eyes. Dishes are stacked up some of them still have full plates of food on them. "Hey Ryder come here," I say calling him over to the kitchen "Coming" he yawns I put the casserole down and look at him. I gently grab his face and have him look at me "Ryder when was the last time you fully slept" I ask and he looks at me surprised. "Um I don't know Parker has been having nightmares and so has mom so I don't know" he shakes his head rubbing his eyes. "Hmm" I look around and look down "Okay." I look down and then I start tearing up.

How pathetic am I, I've been crying because I lost someone that I loved but I hadn't talked to him for a year while they lost their brother and son. I look at Ryder and he looks so tired "Okay. Um, where's your momma" I ask "Oh um she's in her room" he scratches his head. "Okay I'm gonna go talk to her for a little bit," I say and he nods rubbing his eyes again.