Never Summer Again

Chapter Twenty - The Way We Break

Score: End Credits - Chase and Status

Lydia

I walk into the examination room as if in a dream. My feet are dragging me across the carpeted floor on a will of their own. My vision is blurred and my eyelids feel heavy.

The room is quickly filling up with students. I look around, scanning for familiar faces. I can see Gloria, Alex, and Nate, already in their seats, looking all nervous and shaken up. Alex waves an enthusiastic hand at me, but I can only give her a weary smile in response.

Today is our Chemistry A-Level. The day I've been dreading the whole year.

But I don't feel anything, as I approach my desk. I don't feel nervous, excited, or even interested in what's happening around me. I just can't be bothered.

My life has been taken away from me. I realize now, that, through all these years I thought I've been working towards my independence and freedom, it has been completely in vain. Nothing in my life is within my powers.

It has never been.

God knows for how long Colin has been planning on trading me off to the Casterlys for their money and power. God knows what he's done with the compensation payment from Bellanger Skin&Beauty and where his royalties have gone.

It doesn't matter, really. There's nothing I can do about it.

I plop myself on my chair and let my bag slide off my shoulder and fall to the floor. My body is in full automatic mode, as my hands reach into my bag. Retrieve my pencil case. Fumble around for my water bottle. Fish my calculator out.

My mind is in a completely different place, far away from the examination room. It is back in my room, revisiting the events of the past weekend over and over again.

Like a broken record.

It has been like that for four days.

It would be my fault if mother isn't able to stay in the clinic...

My tuition fees don't matter that much. If I had known earlier, I could have probably applied for a student loan, but I'm quite sure I've missed all the deadlines already, so that's that. And there's also John's school fees, and...

I watch myself from afar, as I pick up my phone from my bed, and, with a shaking hand, pull Patrick's name on the screen. I try to collect myself enough so that I don't sound whiny and pathetic, as I wait for him to pick up.

I am surprised he even does, after what happened earlier, but, eventually, he picks up.

"What?" He whips out, angry and annoyed. I don't blame him. It's not his fault. Nothing in this situation is his fault. If anything, I was a total bitch to him earlier, and he didn't deserve that. He's in the same fucked up boat, as I am.

"Hey, babe. I just wanted to... apologize for what I said earlier. I freaked out. I just...I didn't expect that. It was too big of a surprise. And I am sorry. Of course, I am happy about it."

"Really? Because you sounded quite adamant about what you were saying."

"I know. But, yes, really, I mean it. I'm sorry. Do you want to come over and we can talk about it?"

"No." He snaps, way too harshly, and then adds, in a softer tone. "I'm tired. I've spent the whole day traveling. I just want to go to bed. We can talk again tomorrow. Consider your apology accepted, though."

"Really?" I say, my heart twisting in my chest. Instead of relief, I feel only more desperation. "Thank you, babe! I really can't wait to talk to you again and show you how happy I am."