Never Summer Again

Chapter Twenty Four - The Power Within

Warning: This chapter contains graphic sexual descriptions.

Lydia

Score: Fire Meets Gasoline - SIA

I lie under him, his body pressing mine further into the soft leather cushions. My hand travels down to the hem of his shirt and I push it up, tracing the hard muscles of his abdomen, as I make my way up...

Suddenly, he grabs my wrist and pulls away, as if he'd been struck by lightning.

"We can't," he growls, out of breath. He climbs off of me and sits on the couch, gripping his hair with both hands.

"We shouldn't. You're drunk."

What?!

Tears of embarrassment and anger sting my eyes as I sit up next to him.

He turns to face me, reaching out to put his hand over both of mine, which are lying in my lap.

His eyes burn into mine with something raw and almost painful.

Desire.

Yet, he's holding back.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"It's OK." It is not.

I don't want to listen to whatever reasons he has lined up in his head as to why he doesn't want me.

Again.

The sting of rejection settles in my heart next to the myriad of nasty feelings, bleeding through the dent he's cracked open there. Next to feelings I have been suppressing, towards Colin, Patrick, and myself even. Betrayal. Resentment. Hurt.

To hell with him! I pull my hands away from his.

"No, Lyds, listen to me. I told you before, I know how you feel. I feel it too. Believe me, it drives me crazy. You drive me crazy. I...I cannot be around you anymore, because I want to cover your mouth with mine every time I see you...and it's not healthy, Lyds. It's not good, for either of us. I have no self-control when it comes to you. Can't you see that? I want you so much, I want to take you right here, on the sofa. But you are not mine to take, Lyds. You have Patrick and you two love each other. I know you guys have issues, but you will figure it out. I just... I don't want you to do something you'll regret, just because you're drunk and you're pissed off at him right now. I know you feel this... this pull, when we are together, but we shouldn't...just go find Patrick, fuck his brains out...it'll all work out..."

I stare at him, not comprehending the good part of what he's just said. I can only focus on one thing.

I have no self-control when it comes to you. Can't you see that? I want you so much, I want to take you right here, on this couch.

He wants me. He wants me. Yet, he is decent enough to turn me down, because I am drunk, and out of respect for my relationship?! What does it say about the other guys I know, that I am actually surprised by that?

"But...why didn't you just tell me? Why didn't you tell me to fuck off tonight, when I called you if you don't trust yourself around me?"

"Because... I couldn't just leave you, when you were in trouble, Lyds...And...and, as much as I cannot be around you, I cannot stay away from you, either."

His stare is so intense, it is almost painful on my face.

A thousand thoughts explode in my brain, which is still aching from the wine.